A Quiver Full of Love

New Life in the Earth, New Life in Jesus, and New Life in Me

2010-04-05T10:48:00.001-05:00

Saturday evening, I started feeling a little pukey. But this felt like
a preggo-pukey, not a sick pukey. There is a definite difference, with
me anyway. I thought that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, and
it was probably nothing. I got a pregnancy test that night just in case.

So I took the test first thing Sunday morning. It was positive before
it even hit the control window.

Oh my goodness!!!!

I'm pregnant!!!!!

I am SOOOO excited!

But I'm also really scared.

It's been 17 months since I miscarried. I'm scared to death that I'll
lose this baby too. But at the same time, I'm thankful for this gift
of Life inside me.

I don't think it's just a coincidence that I found out on Easter, the
day that we celebrate Spring and new life in the earth, and the
resurrection of Jesus. Because Jesus died on the cross, was buried,
and rose from the dead, He gave me opportunity to be a changed person
here on earth and to have a home in Heaven when I die. I have hope
when before I had none. I have one baby in Heaven already, and if I
keep my trust in Jesus, I know I'll meet my Glory Baby face to face.

So while I have no guarantee beyond today for this little one, I will
celebrate this new life inside me for as long as I'm given the chance,
knowing that eternity eventually awaits us both and that life here is
precious, no matter how long or how short it is.

Welcome, little one!

Angels Underwear

2009-10-08T13:45:00.001-05:00

Since Brad is gone to Alabama, I'm a little nervous at night without
him there. Especially since we were told that there have been break
ins on our street. I pay extra attention to noises and check all the
rooms if I've been gone. I'm not too exceptionally worried, just aware
and prayerful. Ok, maybe a little paranoid. :)

Our sleep is all messed up with Brad gone too. The babies are
definitely aware that something is amiss because Daddy isn't home for
bedtime.

A couple nights ago, we went to sleep after 10 but Sara woke up again
around 12:30 or so. I put a movie in for her and we laid in bed
watching it. Sara was laying where she could see into the living room.
I've been leaving the kitchen light on so it's not light enough in the
bedroom to hinder sleep, but light enough to see in there and deter
criminals, hopefully.

So there we are, watching our movie, and suddenly Sara sits straight
up and stares into the living room. "Who's dat?" she says. Her gaze
never left the living room. She hopped down and ran into the living
room, faced the kitchen (not the front door, like she would be if she
heard something and thought Brad was home), and said "Hi!" I got out
of bed and ran in there beside her, and she was intently looking at
something, but there was nothing there!

Now, I am NOT the kind of person that sees ghosts in the closet and
leprechauns in my cereal box. I do however believe in angels as
described in the Bible.

So standing there with my daughter, my first thought was, "It's an
angel, and I'm in my underwear (and t-shirt, but I wasn't worried
about that part!)!!!"

It was a very cool, weird, kinda creepy, awesome experience. But I've
been a bit more modest around the house lately. :)

Dumb Movie

2009-10-01T13:35:00.001-05:00

A few years ago, I bought a cheap DVD at Old Time Pottery. It's a double feature, and I got it for Shirley Temple's The Little Princess. I could never get it to work on the computer so I forgot about it.

Sara found it day before yesterday and asked to watch the "house" movie. Well the other half of the double feature is The New Adventures of Heidi, with Burl Ives as Grandfather. I love him but this is the DUMBEST movie!!! It is chock full of dumb long drawn out introspective songs. At least a dozen!!!! It's terrible!!! And of COURSE, Sara just loves it!

So Sara is watching it and Heidi and her friend are crying, and Sara comes to me walking all slow with a pitiful look on her face and her head down. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, "Mama, I'm sad!" I said, "Aww, you wanna come cuddle Mama?" "No mama, I wanna KIE (cry) on you!"

It was so cute, it's the first time she's shown empathy with a movie. I can tell that there's gonna be lots of chick flicks in our future, and Mama and daughter can eat ice cream and kie on each other. But can we please pick something besides The New Adventures of Heidi????

Testing

2009-08-19T00:37:00.001-05:00

Trying out blogging from e-mail!

Remember

2009-06-03T17:53:00.003-05:00

Thank you so much to my dear friend Wendy, who remembered the significance of today's date and gave me this Willow Tree figurine, "Remember".

Today would have been our Glory Baby's due date. I still miss that little one being in my womb. I thought that in remembrance of our third child (who is very much alive right now!) I'd share the card that I bought and the letter that I wrote to our baby, just a few days after we discovered that Glory Baby had gone to heaven.

It isn't easy being so in love with you and not being able to see you every day. There are times when I'd give anything just to be able to gaze into your eyes or hold you in my arms, even for a few minutes. I always feel incomplete, like part of me is missing, when we're not together. I know that, right now, this is how things have to be, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear. Every day without you just reminds me of the joy you add to my life, joy that I'm missing... a lot. So don't forget that I love you, that I'm thinking of you, and that I'm counting every minute until we're together again.

Dear Baby,

I know that you will never read this. But it will make me feel better to put down on paper some of the things in my heart.

From the very first, when I first suspected I was pregnant again, I was so excited. A new sibling for Sara & Emily to grow up with. A new little person to love, and watch grow up.

And then when I started bleeding, I was scared. I had hope that everything would be ok. We asked several friends to pray. Your sisters were playing in the tub with Daddy, and I laid on the bed, my hands on my tummy, praying for you. I told Jesus that I knew that He allows things to happen to change us, but that I would rather have my baby. i knew the lord understood what I was feeling.

The next afternoon, there was no question. You had gone to Heaven.

It didn't sink in right away. Now, I have good moments, and bad moments.

I miss you. You aren't the baby-in-the-tummy anymore. You're the baby-in-heaven.

I cry for everything I'm missing out on. Were you a boy or a girl? Do you look like your Daddy, or like me? I will miss not knowing your smile, or your laugh, or your cute little unique baby quirks. I will miss holding you while you sleep. I'll even miss changing your diaper.

But I know that God has a reason for everything that He does. I am so thankful to know that you're in heaven! You will never know heartache or pain or sin.

I will always carry your memory in my heart. I will cherish the few short weeks that you were close in my tummy. And while others will look and see that I have two children, I will always know that I have three.

As Sara & Emily grow, I will tell them about their precious little sibling in heaven. We all have more reason to get to heaven now, because you are there.

I love you, little one. I have always loved you, and I always will.

I'll see in heaven, and until then I'll be missing you and loving you.

Have fun in heaven, baby!

Love,

Your Mama

To Members of TCOG

2009-06-01T11:57:00.002-05:00

I wanted everyone to hear it from me, before the news travels too far, and this seems like the best way to do it.

I've made a decision that was extremely difficult, but something that had to be done. A decision that was not made lightly or in haste. A decision that I wish did not have to be made. But a decision that gives me peace in knowing I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.

I've turned in my membership to TCOG, and asked for my name to be removed from the books.

Yes, I know.

I am continuing to follow my Jesus with my whole heart. I'm walking the path He's laid out in front of me, and same as ever, if not more than ever, I'm walking in Truth, and in the Light to the best of my knowledge and ability. Yes, I know what could be said to me after a statement like that.

I want all of you to know that I love you, and that I am SO thankful for the time we've had together and the things I've learned and experienced. This is not how I ever in a million years expected things to turn out. God sees the big picture and more than ever I believe that.

If anyone reading this has any questions, please come to with them. I'd much rather you come to me for a simple answer than to shake your head and whisper about me. Though we no longer agree on some things, I count you as my brothers and sisters in Christ. If you'd rather e-mail me privately, you can do so @ addicted2jesusgirl@yahoo.com .

Waiting...

2009-01-21T13:49:00.003-06:00

Ok so I am really in the mood to post about Christmas but I wanted to wait until I had photos to post with it. I have so much that I need to archive on here!

I'm doing the devotion tonight at church... I was looking at Matthew's Christmas present to the girls and inspiration hit. I'm not gonna say what it is because it will give away the surprise! I just hope that I can get it across to everyone else the way it is in my head. It makes perfect sense to me! I'm nervous but excited. Brad is gonna miss it and that stinks. I'll be so glad when he doesn't have class on Wednesday nights anymore.

So, kiddo stuff to report....

I cut Sara's hair! It was short on the sides already and long in back and it was looking like a boy's mullet, so I cut it in the back to be even... I didn't mean to but it ended up being stacked. I'm glad because it looks super cute that way! So yes it is short now, but it looks very feminine and sassy. :-) I'm hoping it will grow out faster and thicker now that it's been cut! I seriously need pictures of it.

Sara is really into animals, identifying them and telling us what they say. She has decided that all ducks say "Aflac!!!!" and not "quack!" It's hilarious.

Emily is trying to talk! She will say "Hi!" and wave... with her hand turned in instead of out, so it looks like she is saying "come here". She has been a cuddlebug and is absolutely in love with her Daddy.

I have been having so much fun cooking lately! My wonderful awesome sister-in-law Heather got me a Taste of Home cookbook for Christmas, she said because I am always blogging for people to pray for my meals. Hahaha! It is "Busy Family Meals" and I have done nothing but cook from it since Christmas. Just neato everyday easy recipes that I never would have thought of. It has been a hit and we have all thoroughly enjoyed getting out of our same old same old meal rut. Last night I made my own sloppy joe recipe and that is the first I have cooked something not out of that cookbook since Christmas. The night before that, it was chicken salsa pizza!

I'm gonna start walking with Wendy. I am SOOOO excited!!! I have REALLY wanted to get working out somehow. Curves is ideal but way too expensive for me. The Y is economical but I don't have anyone to go with me, and that makes me uncomfortable. I was reading an Elizabeth Elliot book last week and there was a lady who met a guy at a gym and left her husband... And it just confirmed to me that I shouldn't do the Y if I'm not 100% comfortable with it. Not that I would leave my husband and not that anyone at the Y would want me, just saying, you can't be too cautious. So we're going to walk at this church with an indoor walking track with mostly old people, while Caetie watches the girls for me. I'm so excited!!! I can't wait.

Next week is fun stuff too but I will wait to blog about that until then.

Behold the Lamb

2009-01-07T13:10:00.000-06:00

Brad & I decided that our gift to each other this year would be tickets to Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb" tour at the Ryman. I am SO GLAD we went. It was AMAZING! The acoustics in that place are absolutely gorgeous. I think that everyone should go see that tour at least once. The first half was a "songwriter's in the round"... Every artist with him sang at least one of their own songs. I loved EVERYONE and foudn several new singer/songwriters we are in love with! Michael Card was there too... and it was such a neat thing listening to him. I remember being 8 years old, listening to "Scandalon" over and over again... I think that was when I really fell in love with music, and not just music, but especially music with a deep spiritual message that provokes me to fall deeper in love with Jesus.

The second half was the actual "Behold the Lamb" part. Have I said yet that it was AMAZING? They began with Andrew reading this quote from introduction to the Jesus Storybook Bible:

It's like an adventure story about a young Hero who came from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It’s a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne, everything to rescue the one he loves. It’s like the most wonderful of fairy tales that have come true in real life.

You see, the best thing about this story is—it’s true.

It takes the whole Bible to tell this story. And at the center of the Story there is a baby. Every story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle—the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.

And what a beautiful picture they painted! The songs started in the old testament, telling the prophecies, and the lineage of Jesus. One song blended into the next. My favorite was "Labor of Love", sung by Jill Phillips. (The song is in the video I posted on Christmas).

It was not a silent night
There was blood upon the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

It just made me think about that night in a way I never had before.

They ended everything, by having us all stand, and in that beautiful place with GORGEOUS acoustics, we all sang Gloria, in Excelsis Deo, and they on the stage listened to us sing.

It was magical and wonderful and awe-inspiring and I left feeling very much like I was taking the presence of God with me. He is always with me, but there are times where I feel him more powerfully than others, and this was one of those times.

Anyone and everyone that can NEEDS to go with us next year!!!

So much to blog, so little time!

2009-01-07T13:09:00.000-06:00

I haven't had internet access for a few weeks so I am way behind!

I'll do a series of posts, telling you all about our Christmas season.

Here goes!

We are sick.

2008-12-28T14:24:00.000-06:00

Before we got here, everyone came down with the stomach flu, but it was all over with before we got here, so we thought we were ok. But last night Sara & I were puking up all the red frosting from Sara's Elmo cupcake cake. Totally gross and I am never eating anything with red food coloring ever again. Probably a good idea anyway.

We were supposed to leave today but I am still feeling blah. SO pray I feel well enough to travel soon. Brad doesn't need to miss any more work.

Merry Christmas!!!!

2008-12-25T13:35:00.001-06:00

I hope all of you out in blogland have a fantabulous Christmas! Remember the important things...Jesus, family, and friends!

Merry Christmas 2008!

2008-12-25T10:37:00.000-06:00

Oh be careful little mouth, What you eat

2008-12-16T11:37:00.000-06:00

My children!!! What am I going to do with them!

We were getting ready to leave Owie's house yesterday, and I picked up Emily to put her in the car seat. She was choking on something. I tried to scoop it out with my fingers, but it was already half way down and she ended up swallowing it. It felt like a big piece of wire. To me, it felt like a spring from a chip clip or a hair clip or something. She acted fine once she swallowed it, but I was worried.

I panicked. I called Wendy, knowing that she has lots of mother experience and would tell me if I was just panicking for no reason (I didn't call you mom, because I knew you would panic too and I wanted a non-panicking source Ha!). I asked her if I should take her to the ER, and she said yes. I would have taken her anyway though. The end of that thing felt sharp and I was worried about things getting tore up inside of her. *shudder*

I called Bro. Sutton and Mom Riddell. Couldn't get ahold of Mom yet. Dropped Sara off with Wendy and went to Vanderbilt Children's ER. I LOVE them. They had us in to triage and getting x-rays in under 5 minutes. Emily did so good. The only time she fussed was when we had to hold her arms over her head to get the side shot.

We didn't have to wait long for the doctor (well, a "fellow" really... teaching hospital you know. This fellow really was a fellow!). He said that whatever it was, was already in her stomach, and that's a good thing. If it got stuck in her throat or something back there or in her lungs, then that would be bad. But he said that the gut is really tough, and she should pass it with no problem. He also said that they've had kids come in that have swallowed open diaper pins and had no problems. YIKES! So, he gave me a list of warning signs to watch for, but she should pass it in MAX 3 days. If I haven't seen it yet (watching for it will be fun) in 3 days, then I have to take her back.

Here's pictures of the x-ray.

See that hooked white thing in the middle near her spine? Yes, that's it. *shudders again*

I'm be so glad when I see that thing in her diaper.

Christmas!!!!!

2008-12-09T12:51:00.000-06:00

I can't wait!!!

I am slowly but surely working on getting my Christmas shopping done. It is not going to be much but at least something for everyone. And extra for the girls of course. We're celebrating Sara's birthday too before we leave for Arkansas so I have to bring her birthday presents with me.

Brad put up blue icicle lights on the porch gable... he couldn't get it to be long enoug to reach end to end, so he went all electrician on me and spliced it with a cord from a hair dryer I had quit using because something inside was sounding funny. It's hilarious but I don't think anyone would notice if they didn't know. :-) Then I went to Dollar Tree and spent $5 on "pine" garland and red bows to wrap around the little deck. FUN! I want to get a little tree for inside, but I want the house clean first. There is always something though so I guess I shouldn't wait too long!

I finished designing our family Christmas card just a bit ago! I am SO excited! I always have grand intentions every year but I never have gotten cards out. I sent it to Wal-Mart.com to be one houred and if the single print turns out good then I'll order more and send them out! So please everyone send me your address! Unless I go to church with you, then I'll just give it to you. :-)

I want to bake! Christmas always makes me want to make things and cook things and all that but there is never any time. Tonight though, we are going to have a yummy dinner, I hope. Our dinner meals have been blah lately, so I decided to try to change that. I got tilapia filets and I'm going to bake them in tin foil with butter, lemon pepper, garlic, and dill. I have NEVER cooked fish before (well, fish sticks don't count!) so I'm hoping it turns out good! And I'm going to cook red potatoes, carrots & onions. And rolls. Need something green but the dill on the fish will have to suffice. Ha! And for dessert, I'm making a coconut oatmeal pie! YUMMY!! It's been FOREVER since I've made one. If you like chess pie (something I've discovered since being in TN!) or even pecan pie, you'd like this.

PRAY dinner doesn't flop. I really really want to surprise Brad with something different.

I was invited to a get together tonight and I think it really would be fun. But I need time with my family and that has got to come first. There will be other get togethers.

It's Been a While!

2008-11-19T09:25:00.001-06:00

I reckon I should post!

I have been majorly stressed lately. Frustrated and angry at some things, and sad and hurt at others.

So when last Saturday rolled around, I was SOOOOO ready for Ladies' Day. Brad watched the girls for me so that I could fully enjoy it. Gina came with me and it was nice to have some female company.

Ladies' Day was SOOOOOO fantastic! Everything was wonderful. The theme was about Esther. These two scriptures were paired together and it just WOWED me.

Esther 4:11All the king's servants, and the people of the king's provinces, do know, that whosoever, whether man or women, shall come unto the king into the inner court, who is not called, there is one law of his to put him to death, except such to whom the king shall hold out the golden sceptre, that he may live: but I have not been called to come in unto the king these thirty days.
12And they told to Mordecai Esther's words.
13Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews.
14For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Hebrews 4: 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

The devotion was wonderful, the class was wonderful, the message was wonderful. I sooooo needed to hear these things. I needed to be reminded that I am chosen by God for such a time as this. I needed to be reminded that the things that I endure in this life are for a far greater purpose than I can even imagine, and I needed to be reminded to behave myself well in the King's house! The Lord is so kind to me to let me know that He loves me at the same time He is showing me things in my life that, in the words of Tammy, "ought not be!"

So I came away from Ladies' Day feeling very refreshed! And nervous too. See I'd been shown some things about my attitude and how I respond to circumstances that I don't like... And while I was thankful for the Lord's loving rebuke, and I knew that He could help me to respond the way I should, I was nervous that I wasn't going to let Him help me. Funny because I normally don't feel that way. But on the way back home, Gina and I were testifying to each other about the day... and we just encouraged each other in that area. She really encouraged me, I know that!!!

We went home by way of Lebanon, and went to the Outlet mall... I'd been wanting... ok, DYING to go to the Bath & Body Works Outlet. But we never get over that way anymore. OH OH OH!!!! I almost forgot!!!!!!!

Gina and I were talking and encouraging and rejoicing on the way to Lebanon, on 840. We calm down and I look down, and I tell Gina that she needs to start praying we make it to a gas station because we are out of gas!!! And it was on E. Not in the red at all. This car runs out of gas LONG before it makes it to E. And there it was. And no gas station for several more miles. There is NOTHING on 840. At all. We were going to get off at the exit for 109, but I missed it! AAARGH!!!! So the next is 40 and then Lebanon. I was telling Gina about the time when Brad & I were dating and we drove 45 minutes with no gas! God totally did it. And guess what??? He did it again! The car only started sputtering JUST as I was pulling into the gas station. God is good to take care of me in my stupidity sometimes, but probably only this time because I was too busy talking about Him to look at the gas gauge! Ha ha!

We got cappuccinos at the gas station and then went to the Mall. Thankfully it had stopped raining. We had so much fun!!!!! We just got a couple little things at B&BW and then went window shopping. Brad will window shop with me, but only at a few stores. He doesn't care for clothes shopping. Plus it's just different to window shop with a girl than with a guy. Ha ha! Then we went to Goodwill. Gina found a skirt and I got 2 more matching dresses for the girls, and a sweater for Brad. Plus a brand new in package album of Carolyn Arends' Parenthood album. We had the book and the single but not the whole album. We used the single for the slideshow at Sara's baby dedication.

That reminds me! Here's the corrected version of the slideshow that I figured out how to put on youtube a few months ago. It's hard to believe our first baby isn't so little anymore!

So anyway, Saturday was a fantastic day and I am very thankful for it!!!!

Tiny Bit

2008-11-10T10:14:00.000-06:00

My throat is just a tiny bit sore. I feel fine. I'm soooo glad. This all could have landed me in the hospital or needing surgery. So much worse than it was.

We spent all day at church yesterday. I brought sandwhich stuff and I ran to Wal-Mart for the cheese I forgot to bring from home (can't have sandwhiches in our family without cheese!), a tomato, and dessert. We had so much fun. We watched Bible cartoons while we ate (LOL!) and then Brad and Sara took a nap in one of the Sunday school rooms. One of them (I think it's the teen girls?) put a couch in there with a cute slipcover. Perfect for Sunday afternoon napping! Ha! Bet they weren't thinking of that when they put it in there! Emmy, who was not interested in napping, crawled around the sanctuary while I chatted with my brother Matthew on the phone. It was a very good day. I think folks oughtta stay and hang out with us next week.

Bleh!

2008-11-07T09:33:00.001-06:00

Tuesday night I woke up with a sore throat. It got worse throughout the day on Wednesday and that night it got bad. It hurts to even swallow my own spit. (You don't know how much you appreciate that until you can't do it!). And I was running a fever. I had chills so bad Wednesday night I actually was having muscle spasms in my back. I went to the clinic yesterday, sure it was strep. Well it's not strep. They think it's a really bad bacterial infection in my throat. My tonsils are swollen up HUGE! The dangly thing in the middle is actually resting on one. Anyway, when I told them I was glad at least that it wasn't strep, she said she'd rather I had strep! She said strep is easy to treat and get rid of. She doesn't think this junk is gonna be so easy.

The thing is too, that off and on since I was twelve, I've had trouble with my tonsils. Nothing big. Just annoying. Never been seen for it. A month or so ago I felt yucky and my tonsils were acting up and I wondered if it was my tonsils making me sick. It went away though and I didn't think about it.

Sooo... it kind of freaked me out when she said to watch my breathing...if I have trouble breathing it could be a paratonsillar abcess, which is an emergency situation. When she told me that, I told her about my tonsil issues. She said she didn't think it was that bad YET, just to watch it. They gave me a GINORMOUS shot of antibiotics. WOW that stung. My hip is super sore now.

Ibuprofen is keeping the fever at bay. I feel better today as far as I'm not wiped out like I was yesterday. But my throat still hurts. I haven't been able to eat anything since Wednesday night. They said to just forget about eating, and to just try to drink and stay hydrated. Bleh. I hate it. I want to eat, but I can't.

They said that if I'm not significantly improved by Saturday, then I have to come back in.

I woke up this morning at 1 am all paranoid about my breathing. And then my paranoia was making me breathe weird. LOL! So I got up and made Brad's & Sara's lunch for today (torture, I tell ya!) and did some laundry. By then I was settled down enough I could go back to sleep.

I am sooooo ready to be over this. PRAY I get over this soon and PRAY the kids and Brad don't get it. I am trying to wash my hands often and keep everyone out of my face (hard to do with kiddos!).

Is Halloween Harmless?

2008-10-29T14:27:00.000-05:00

The following is one of the devotions that my friend Charlotte from Mtn. View, AR sends out by e-mail. I don't normally post things like this, but the scriptures in this devotion really stood out to me and confirmed the way that I have always felt about Halloween. Even if you think you've heard it all before, even if right now you are rolling your eyes at yet ANOTHER attempt to show that Halloween is wrong, PLEASE read it anyway, and ask the Lord what He would have you to do. The comments in italics are from Charlotte.

The following came largely from a message preached this Sunday by our pastor, Brother Randy Farthing. It really caused me to think and I hope it will be a blessing to you as you read it. Charlotte

Is Halloween Harmless?

When the Irish came over to America in the 1800s during the potato famine, they brought their custom of celebrating Halloween with them. It is a celebration of the “Day of the Dead.” As far back as two thousand years ago, Celtics would kill animals and dress up wearing the heads of the dead animals. Other things made popular by the Irish during Halloween was the carving of turnips (pumpkins in America because they were more readily available) in which candles were lit as a symbol of roaming “spirits” or to ward off evil spirits.

Satan loves Halloween because Halloween glamorizes darkness. Deuteronomy 18:9-12, “When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire (some burned their children as sacrifice to pagan gods), or that useth divination (using satanic means to attempt to tell the future), or an observer of times (astrology, horoscopes), or an enchanter (one who is believed to heal through magic powers), or a witch (a woman who practices witchcraft), Or a charmer (someone who uses chants/spells), or a consulter with familiar spirits (someone who communicates with spirits), or a wizard (a man who practices witchcraft or magic), or a necromancer (one who calls up the dead). For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.”

God told them not to be entangled with the ways of the nations which they would inhabit.

Witches don’t ride brooms. They do cast spells and work evil (even though many call it “good” magic). This is an abomination of God. The devil glamorizes this evil through many means...one way he does this is through Halloween.

1 Corinthians 10:21, “Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord’s table, and of the table of devils.”

Acts 16:16-18, “And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination (ability through satanic means to attempt to tell the future…notice it is the spirit of divination…an evil spirit) met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying (like fortune telling): The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which show unto us the way of salvation. And this did she many days. But Paul being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.” (This spirit of divination was trying to HIDE itself in religious ways, trying to appear good, but it was still evil! The devil tries to make evil look good…he wants to glamorize it. Halloween IS practiced as a religious day, but it is NOT of Christian religious origins).

1 Corinthians 10:20, “But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.”

Note…Brother Farthing brought out some things I had never thought about through these Scriptures…especially the ones in the Book of Acts on how evil will try to attach itself to good in an attempt to fool people into thinking it really IS good. As I was getting this devotion ready to send out, I was reminded of a “game” that has been around for years…and some continue to be innocently caught up in…some of our local school teachers have even used this “game” as a “science experiment” but it isn’t an experiment, nor is it a game. It is called “Light as Feather” and entails two to four people using two fingers each to “lift” a person that is lying flat on a table after saying a series of words over and over (chanting…). People who have come out of the practice of Wicca (witchcraft) will tell you that this is a chant that results in levitation and is evil trying to appear “good” and “fun.” Most of us would not think of using or allowing our kids to use a Ouija Board to call up an evil spirit…we must equally recognize that there are other more subtle evils lurching around every corner waiting to entrap us…and our children…Ephesians 5:11, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.” In other words, don’t participate, but WARN others about them instead.

Milestones

2008-10-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Emily stood up in her playpen last night! She has been pulling up on pant legs and bed covers to stand up for a little while, but this is the first tie she's succeeded to climb the playpen walls to stand up. She was sooooo proud of herself! She was standing up at the bed last night, and started grooving to Jordin Sparks' "One Step at a Time". It's hilarious because the first song Sara ever stood up and grooved to, was Bebo Norman's "Stand". How do they manage this stuff?

Glory Baby

2008-10-27T14:26:00.000-05:00

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby...baby...
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby...baby...
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘Till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘Till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…
All you’ll ever know…

Remembering

2008-10-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I decided that I needed some time to myself, to be able to think and pray and grieve in my own way.

Brad watched the kids, and I left the house. First I decided to go to the kids' consignment store and get a couple pairs of pants for Sara & Emily... Emmy has a few shirts that she needed pants to go with. Sara got some jammies too and I found a Christmas dress for Emmy to go with the one I've had in storage for Sara since last year (yay for after season sales!).

Then, I got a haircut. I got bangs cut, I think I like them. But she cut the rest of it too short. Oh well. it will grow.

Then, I went to Hallmark. Hallmark has always been the place I go when something emotional is going on in my life. I found a card for the baby, and I looked at Willow Tree figurines. I wanted to have something at the house in memory of the baby, but I didn't want something that would make me want to cry every time I looked at it. I decided on this one:

It makes me think of a little one running around heaven, having a blast. And the "hope" is just perfect. Reminds me of the scripture that says I don't have to sorrow as those who have no hope, because of Jesus I have a blessed hope that I will get to see the baby again in heaven!

I took some time to write a letter to the baby in the card I found... I bawled all through it. I know the baby will never read it, but it made me feel better. Maybe sometime I will share what I wrote.

I think I'm going to make a memory box, and put the card in it, and the pregnancy test, and maybe a photo of us now. Anything else I might think of.

Surviving

2008-10-25T16:23:00.000-05:00

I am ok. I have good moments and bad moments.

One thing that I am thankful for, that I didn't realize for awhile, is that I'm not angry with God. I'm not asking, "How could you do this to me?!?" I know that God has a purpose and plan for every life, no matter how short. So now I am just asking the Lord to show me what He wants me to learn through this. Who He wants me to become through this.

I am so happy for our baby. He or she gets to be in heaven and escape the heartache and trouble of this world! That is more than I can say for the two that I can hold in my arms. One safe in heaven, now I just have to get these two there!

I am sad for us. A little one that I never got to hold, never got to look into their eyes, will never know who they looked like. I cry for all of the little things that I'm missing out on.

I went to the store yesterday and automatically went down the baby aisle. It took 5 seconds for me to remember... my womb is empty.

It is going to be a hard the next few months. When June 3rd rolls around (yes, June 3rd, I had calculated the due date wrong), it will be harder for awhile. Especially since I have two friends due either the day of or within days of ours. I don't begrudge them their blessings. It will just be hard knowing that it could have been us too.

Thank you to all of you that are praying for us and have left messages. My blog is bound to be sad for a while. I'll try to share what Jesus is showing me as time goes on.

I'm thankful for my blessings. No matter how long or short a time I get to enjoy them.

Pray for us.

2008-10-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

I miscarried this morning.

So, we have a baby waiting for us in heaven.

Can't wait to get there!

Arrows

2008-10-14T12:56:00.000-05:00

The Bible says that the children that He gives us are like arrows in the hands of a mighty man. We know the devil throws out fiery darts against us. Well, I have some arrows to send back in his direction! With the Lord's help, I'll train these arrows up to know the Lord, so that their aim will be sure. Who knows the souls that may come to know Jesus because of my children! It's a HUGE task and a tremendous responsibility, but I know that Jesus has given me everything I need to accomplish it. God's gifts are always GOOD, especially when they are in His timing. Difficult sometimes? Yes. But the trials that come from raising children only serve to draw me closer to my Guide. Why would I want to miss out on any of this? His plan is best.

And so, that being said.....

The Lord is adding to our quiver once again!

Baby Riddell #3, arriving sometime around May 27, 2009!!!

We are SOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!

Adieu, Blogger...

2007-02-02T11:47:00.000-06:00

If you'd like to get ahold of me, please e-mail me at addicted2jesusgirl@yahoo.com.

I leave all of you blogger folks with a new photo of my Angel Baby...

"Nice to meet you, Hank!"

2007-01-31T06:38:00.000-06:00

It's Punky Brewster!!! I had Punky Brewster shoes when I was.... how old Mom? I was little, but I remember them. :-)

What a blast from the past! And so loveable. ENJOY!

Stupid site...

2007-01-29T19:39:00.000-06:00

Blogger FORCED me to switch to the new version. And now my comments are all messed up. If anyone CAN'T comment, please e-mail me and let me know. Sorry for the inconvenience!

This blog has become my Mommy journal...

2007-01-29T16:20:00.000-06:00

Sara is doing so great! We were in the Antioch/Smyrna area all day yesterday. She does so well when we go places. She is such a good baby! She seldom cries just to cry. She cries when there is something wrong, and then when it's taken care of, she's ok again. Though she might fuss at you for a few minutes just to remind you that she's still kind of mad you for it.

She HATES having a wet/dirty diaper! But she HATES being changed even worse! That's when she yells the most. She screams like you're killing her! I try to warm up the wipes in my hand... but it's seldom good enough. I thought that wipe warmers were silly when you can just warm them in your hands... but we are SO getting one!

She smiled a couple little smiles at me today during feeding time. She just melts my heart.

I've discovered that when you become a parent, you automatically start referring to yourself as "Mama". As in, "Daddy, will you hold this potato, Mama has to go potty, yes she does (in baby talk)!" I love it!!

I was reading a book on Baby Sign Language yesterday, while in Target (I've discovered that Target has the cheapest diapers at $5.74 for 40... whodduthunkit?). You don't teach them the alphabet or anything like that, just talk baby talk in sign language. You talk at the same time so they associate the sign with the word. For instance, I'd say "Does Sara need a diaper change?" while making the sign for "diaper" and "change". It would allow her to communicate with us much sooner. The ideal time to start teaching her is 6 months, but if we started now, she could be signing back to us when she's 6 months old. Can you believe that??? The lady that wrote the book was talking about how her 8 month saw a newborn baby, and her daughter, with a worried look on her face, made the sign for "chick" and for "egg", then "baby". She was wondering if the baby came out of her mama the same way the chick came out of the egg! Then she was afraid of elephants, and didn't want to go to sleep one night. When asked what was wrong, she made the sign for "elephant" and "outside". She thought the car horns she was hearing outside were elephants! She would NEVER have been able to have these conversations with her daughter at that age under normal circumstances! But it is supposed to encourage them to talk sooner too, because they are observing like normal, but they are also interacting much more, so it accelerates their speech. I think this is going to be AWESOME!!

I'll leave with a picture of Sara (think I'm capable of making a post without one? No way!).

Ok, maybe a couple. :-)

First Smiles!!

2007-01-27T11:07:00.000-06:00

Last night, about 11:30 p.m., Mama was talking to her and she just burst out in smiles! It was sooo precious! Daddy was already sleeping but Mama got pictures and Daddy got to see the real thing this morning!

Posing

2007-01-26T12:16:00.000-06:00

Firsts

2007-01-26T09:34:00.000-06:00

Sara's First Tub Bath
12/18/06

I am LOVING being a Mama!! I love taking care of her. I love changing her diapers because she can't STAND being dirty. She will be easy to potty train if she keeps this up! I love doing all the things for her that she can't do for herself. It gives me a deep satisfaction.

I don't like it when I can't figure out what's wrong. Doesn't happen much though, thankfully.

I love it when she is changed and fed and just lays there looking at you and at things around the room in her calm peaceful way. She just takes everything in. I would love to know what goes on in her little mind!

She loves it when Daddy comes home from work. She will lay in his arms and just swing her little hands around and look at him for forever.

She tries to crawl when you put her on her tummy. She has had her little rear end up off the bed already! She will be scooting around before we know it! When she is laying on our chests, she will get a foothold in our bellybuttons and push like she is rock climbing! Cute!

It is tough learning how to get anything done. She can't stand being alone (can't blame her, who does?). She likes her sling but it is awkward because she is too little for it and I have to prop her up with a huge towel which makes it bulky. We have another carrier but it is kind of awkward too. I finally got the swing set up yesterday, and she liked being in there last night while I got some dishes done (wahoo!) and dinner made. So things ought to improve now. It's not always easy being a parent, but I'm loving every minute. Pretty soon she'll be talking and I'll be longing for the days I couldn't get anything done!

I ran to the store by myself on Monday (first time driving since before the delivery) and it was TERRIBLE! I kept hearing her cry. She was ok, I'm glad that Brad is such a great father, I didn't have to be worried about her, but I DID worry about her because I'm a Mama and that's just the way it is. It was our first time ever to be separated and Mama was a wreck! I have never been in such a hurry to get out of Wal-Mart before (Brad's prayers are answered! LOL!)!

Hope to have pictures of her dedication pretty soon. It was sooo special, but I will blog about that when I have pictures.

Sara Beth... Can't take enough pictures!

2007-01-16T15:17:00.000-06:00

Quick Update

2007-01-12T15:24:00.000-06:00

Sara's umbilical cord fell off last night on her two-week birthday!

Had a good report at the pediatrician yesterday. She's still gaining and looking good!

My OB says my incision is healing nicely. I haven't had to take any pain meds today at all, thankfully. I don't like taking that stuff.

Sara's Early Days

2007-01-12T15:21:00.000-06:00

Sara's Birth Day

2007-01-12T15:20:00.000-06:00

More Sara

2007-01-08T17:02:00.000-06:00

Sara Elizabeth Riddell was delivered by c-section on December 28, 2006, at 2:42 p.m. She weighed 6 lbs, 6 oz., and was 19 1/2 in. long. She is GORGEOUS and after a rough week, she is doing wonderfully!

Enjoy these pictures, I'll add comments later so come back and check these posts again!

She is SOOO strong even though she's so little! From day one she was able to hold her head up on her own. Not for long, but she does. She will be laying on my shoulder, my hand on the back of her head, and she will forcefully push back against my hand so that she can hold her head up and look around. AMAZING!

Arriving home from the hospital the first time around.

Sara's Birth Day

2007-01-08T16:39:00.000-06:00

Sooner Than We Expected!!

2006-12-28T03:55:00.000-06:00

Went to the doctor today for another ultrasound. She is still breech and the doctor really doesn't think she is going to turn at this point. There is a chance of course, but we could only wait one more week before we do a c-section anyway, and I could go into spontaneous labor before then and have to do a c-section... So, we decided that since Brad has a three-day weekend this weekend, we would like to do this on Friday, that way Brad misses less work, is able to spend more time with the baby and I while I recover (at least get started recovering), and just less stress on him and me. I'd rather do a c-section this way if I'm going to have one at all. So the doctor said ok, and called to check the OR schedule. Turns out that they are booked solid Friday, and they have an opening tomorrow, Thursday, at noon, otherwise we can't schedule into the OR until next Friday.

SO..... We are having this baby at noon tomorrow!! Well, noon today now. I have to be at the hospital at 10 am. I got about 3 hrs sleep and woke up wired. I have tons to do and no time to do it in! Oh well.

Our poor parents... everyone is rushing out the door ASAP with an 8 hr drive ahead of them... Mom, Dad, Matthew, Bekah, and Isaiah left at midnight, and Jeff & Julie are going to try to leave at 4 am. PLEASE pray that nothing delays either of them and no one will miss anything.

I can hardly believe that I will only be pregnant for a few more hours. That's kind of sad, because I really have enjoyed being pregnant. But soon I will get to meet my little girl face to face. I can't wait to share that moment with Brad. I'm so glad for epidurals that I don't have to be knocked out cold for this! I can't wait to see Brad holding his daughter. A little bit of me and and a little bit of him and a whole lot of love, all wrapped up in a little bundle sent to us from Jesus.

The ultrasound lady today said that she has a lot of hair. I can't wait to find out if it's dark or blonde!

We have an official name now... but I will wait and let Brad reveal that when he makes the birth announcement. :-)

So please be praying for all of us tomorrow. Most importantly the baby and I need the surgery to go smoothly and everyone come away healthy. Brad needs strength to be able to go through this with me (he'll do great, I know!), and our families need to be there and not stressed out in the process.

My family is having van problems and need God to keep it running so they can get here and back! Julie is not feeling well and needs God to touch her body so that she can have a good trip and feel good while she's here.

I'll be in the hospital until Sunday.

Only 8 more hours and 8 minutes!!!! Sorry little ticker, you're being overridden? overrode? Whatever. :-)

The next thing you'll see here is baby pictures! YAY!!!!

Our Merry Wittle Christmas

2006-12-26T13:54:00.000-06:00

At first we weren't going to do anything for Christmas, with the impending birth of the baby any day and us not being able to travel to be with anyone, and no one able to travel here to be with us(gotta save up travel time for the birth of the baby!). But we couldn't just be all by ourselves and not do ANYthing on Christmas, that's just depressing. So we decided to make dinner, though I didn't go all out like I normally would. But we had all of the important stuff, just not as much of it as I normally would do.

We had turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce and rolls. I made "green stuff," pumpkin roll, and caramel chocolate brownies for dessert. It was yummy!

But then we couldn't just NOT get each other something for Christmas. So Brad got me the "Cherish" preggo Willow Tree figurine I'd been wanting!!! Yay!! He said it was to commemorate our last Christmas without our little girl, or our first Christmas with her, depending on how you look at it. He also said that most girls dread being pregnant and can't wait for it to be over, but I've cherished every minute so it's appropriate for me. :-) He's so sweet.

And the SWEETEST card too!! That was Christmas enough in itself! 'Bout made me cry.

I got Brad a new watch (which he has desperately needed) and a new wallet.

We weren't going to decorate at all, just more to take down and do with the baby coming, but I woke up Christmas morning and I couldn't just NOT have ANY Christmas decorations.

So I took our big pillar unity candle from our wedding, wrapped it with the one strand of wire greenery garland I had, wrapped that with the one small strand of Christmas lights, and Brad put a yellow wire nut on the top and we taped a star cut from a yellow piece of paper to the wire nut. Of all the Charlie Brown Christmas trees in the world, ours is the Charlie Browniest, but it makes me happy and I giggle every time I look at our "tree". :-)

It was a good Christmas. We watched Christmas specials on youtube all day. I got to talk to MOST of my family but I had to get off the phone because contractions and the baby moving were wearing me out. So I missed Jon, Micah, and Dad. And Josh in Iraq. :-( He comes home in February so we will make up for it then!!

Only Three Weeks to Go!!!

2006-12-12T20:56:00.000-06:00

Megan took these for us Sunday... I was 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I can't believe that we only have 3 weeks! It seemed like 9 months would be such a long time, but it has just flown by. I really have been blessed to have such an easy pregnancy. Even with being sick early on, it could have been SO much worse. The gestational diabetes scare has turned out to be not such a big deal after all. I have had a couple sleepless night, and a couple nights up with pretty bad heartburn. My hip joints get feeling pretty sore, I can tell everything is loosening up and getting ready for delivery! Over the weekend I think she turned. I usually feel her kick down low, and now I'm feeling her kick up high. I think she dropped today too, I'm feeling movement a LOT lower than I ever have before!! It's a freaky feeling!!!

I had to have Brad put my boots on me Sunday night for the first time. Usually I can maneuver if I work fast. But I just can't anymore. I get too squished!!

I am in love with coconut body butter on my tummy.

We think we have a name. We're 99.8% sure... I'll wait until we're 100% to reveal it to the whole world, though some know what we're thinking already.

Finding deals on ebay for baby stuff is my latest hobby. I got a gorgeous sheepskin (specially made and sanitized) for babies from Australia, normally $100 (even used ones), for $30. After researching baby slings I found that my FAVORITE was $45. I got one like new for $15.

We are almost set! I still have to get a baby bathtub, actually purchase the crib that the church gave us a gift card for, and I think I found a wardrobe that someone wants to give away. After that, we'll be good to go!

We go see the doctor on Thursday, I had to miss my appointment last week, so we'll see what she says. I'm having a lot more and stronger Braxton Hicks too, so I wonder if anything is changing?? We'll see!!!

Only THREE weeks!!! Yay!!!

Sickness

2006-12-05T19:39:00.000-06:00

Brad woke up sick Sunday morning. Not puking thankfully but running a fever and stuffed up and generally feeling pretty bad. We were supposed to help Sis. Shaw with the kids' Christmas party that morning so I hate we had to miss that. I was ready with my red cozy sweater I haven't had a chance to wear yet!

We were home all day Sunday except I made a trip to the store that evening.

Sunday night he ran a fever off and on and wasn't feeling much better so he stayed home from work to rest it off... it helped trememdously. I don't need him sick right now, though I hate he had to miss work. He was better by the afternoon and I went with him to his school. They ended up only having a two hour class so that was nice. It was good to be with him on his breaks too. I brought him Wendy's to eat for dinner on his first break.

We stopped by Walgreens on the way home for Puffs Plus with lotion and cold medicine... they are having a buy one get one free sale on their vitamins and supplements so I got echinacea and zinc, ended up being $5 a piece. Not bad. We are set for the rest of the cold/flu season now hopefully, maybe it won't hit us again after this! Brad found a cordless rechargable massager that will be perfect for bringing to the hospital, so that was nice. They say bring tennis balls so we'll do that too and see what works best.

I found a $5 bill in the parking lot and no one around to which it might belong, in the store either... so that was yayness. :-)

Monday night Brad slept peacefully for once in and I was up and wired, not to mention having bad heartburn, which has wonderfully kicked in now. I had a few "twinges" in my back Monday morning and they went away... Woke up 3 times Sunday night with harder Braxton Hicks... I'm keeping an eye on it. Not worried unless it keeps it up with the back stuff and gets harder and more frequent. I don't need to be going into labor right now!! But it hasn't done anything since then, so that's good.

Brad is better today and I'm so thankful. I'm keeping him pumped full of echinacea and zinc, poor guy!

Goodness, I'm wordy but I have to make up for lost time! And I still have TONS of stuff to blog about!

A Phew Photos

2006-11-29T15:02:00.000-06:00

Brad & Krissy: Back together again!

Looking much like they did in pictures when they were much younger...
some things never change!

Juan, Elijah, and Krissy.

Aren't these three cute together? Wait, that's four!

Thanksgiving!

2006-11-29T07:42:00.000-06:00

I'm back! (Maybe with a vengeance... we'll see how long this lasts!)

Thanksgiving was wonderful! It was SO great to have everyone together. We had SUCH a good time visiting and joking around with everyone. Julie did an awesome job cooking (and fretting over) dinner and it was yummy!

Friday night we went over to Krissy & Juan's and she taught me how to make mexican rice, carne asada, and authentic green chile sauce. I know what I'm going to be cooking often now!

It was quite amusing having two pregnant ladies together. "I'm so fat..." "WHATEVER! Look at me! You could fit TWO of you in ONE of me!" :-) (Krissy ended up being ok after all. They told her she will just keep on having contractions until the end, just rest and drink lots).

Elijah is ADORABLE! I will post pictures and video. Juan is really good with Elijah. He loves that kid, that's for sure. Brad enjoyed being an uncle. :-)

And of course it was wonderful hanging out with Mom & Dad Riddell. In the past I've kinda worried about keeping my goofiness toned down some, but not this time (don't you guys feel privelidged?) :-) I wasn't self-conscious at all, and I didn't even realize it until we were driving home. Maybe it's just more of that being "comfortable in my skin," but I really did just be myself without even thinking about it.

Turkey Days

2006-11-21T23:03:00.000-06:00

Leaving in the morning for North Carolina for Thanksgiving. Will be heading back Sunday. We were looking forward to all of the family being back together again, with Krissy (who has called me a couple times now and we've really enjoyed visiting), her fiancee Juan (whom I've met before, I really like him, he reminds me of Josh), our almost two year old nephew Elijah, and the yet to be born Silver Destiny. She is due January 6th (the same as Elijah's birthday, and Julie's dad's birthday), we are almost the same exact amount pregnant!

But we got a message from Julie when we came in the door tonight, Krissy went into premature labor and they were on their way to the hospital. They have already had to stop her labor earlier on in the pregnancy, but as far as I know, that's the only problems she's had.

So please pray that Krissy and little Silver will be alright. We may get to meet our new niece sooner than planned.

Everyone have a fantastic Thanksgiving! I will try to be a better blogger when I get back home. Only six more weeks to go!!!!

Our Baby Shower... Part One

2006-11-13T17:31:00.000-06:00

(For those of you who'd like to see ALL the pictures, hop over to here.)

Weekend Plans

2006-11-02T18:47:00.000-06:00

Heading out to Ladies' Retreat tomorrow after the diabetes clinic in the morning. Brad is dropping me off there on his way to work, I'm getting breakfast at the hospital cafeteria, then my appt. is at 8:30. Finishing up at 11, Kasey picking me up, meeting Sis. Shaw a la Megan in Lebanon then onward.

Kasey is going to be mad/disappointed/irritated that I did not get her apron done. TOO much to do to get ready around here. :-(

Thou shalt not surely eat it all...

2006-11-01T23:24:00.000-06:00

Big container of candy pumpkins was on sale for 94 cents and I DIDN'T buy it!

Go me!

And now, a few words from our sponsor...

2006-11-01T11:22:00.000-06:00

I started a baby afghan today. I think I might ACTUALLY finish this one! It'll be a first! It's a granny square so maybe it won't be so overwhelming. Other ones I've tried I got disinterested quick or it was a bunch of small stitches so it took so much effort for so little. I will post a picture when it is finished.

I remember when I first learned how to crochet, when I was 8. Daddy taught me. I was so excited, I made a chain about 6 feet long and proceeded to single crochet about 5 rows. I was determined to make an afghan. Daddy tried to persuade me to let him teach me how to do a granny square so that I could get done faster, but no, I would have none of that. I was going to make an afghan my way. Needless to say, I made it through those 5 rows and that is where I stopped. Actually, it was a lot of work for an 8 year old to accomplish even that! At least in this day and age, I know about a hundred years ago and more 9 year old girls had completed quilt after quilt after quilt entirely by hand. But for me at any age, and especially 8 years old, those 5 rows were quite a feat.

Kim and I started an afghan. We were each going to make enough squares in our coordinating colors for a whole afghan, and then swap half, and sew them together and trim each in "our" color. I think I made it to about 20 squares and then fizzled. Kim gave Mama an afghan not too long ago that has some of those colors in it... It brought back memories and made me wish we/I had finished that project.

I'm missing people today. I'm missing Kim. And then while crocheting with yarn that I have had FOREVER, a long blond hair was tangled up in it. It's BEKAH'S from who knows how many years ago. We always shared a room until I got married. So I miss my sister too and I'm wishing we were close so we could do girl stuff together. Sigh.

In other news, I was listening to last.fm radio this morning and heard some interesting new stuff. So I've compiled an iTunes wish list.

She Will be Loved by Maroon 5 (heard already but put it on here to remind me to get it)
From Where I Am by Enya
Economy of Mercy by Switchfoot (owned the album this is on but it has disappeared)
Tall Trees in Georgia by Eva Cassidy
Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie (who wouldda thunk it??)
Speed of Sound by Coldplay
Clocks by Coldplay
Fix You by Coldplay( Can you tell I like Coldplay?)
I Will be Blessed by Lisa Ekdahl
Take it From Me by The Weepies
All I Do is Dream of You by Stacey Kent
We Came to Learn the Sea by Dar Williams
The Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice

Mostly just folksy/easy listening/jazz type stuff. Very relaxing. Note that I have no clue about these artists other songs, I just like these that I've heard. I would like to have more candlelight dinner type music and this just might start me off.

Going to try to do the diabetes clinic thing on Friday if all works out. Had a BIG fiasco with insurance because my caseworker neglected to enter info into the computer when she has had the fax on her desk for WEEKS. I arrived at the clinic only for them to tell me that I'm not covered! Yikes! But all is well now. TWO WEEKS later. Grr. Oh well.

Ladies' Retreat is this weekend!!! I cna't wait! It will only be my second. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed the one in WV last year, it was FANTASTIC. This may be my last one for a while so I'm going to take advantage of the opportunity for sure. Though Sis. Kim has forbade me to go into labor while I'm there. Hopefully not! Though if this retreat was about a month later there is no way I'd be there. So it's perfect timing.

Hoping my jean skirt arrives in the mail before Friday...

The (Might as Well Be) Finished Project

2006-11-01T10:57:00.000-06:00

Here I am in the jumper I made. I love the drawstring waist (enhances the tummy, Jaci!) but I still want to but the velvet ribbon on to trim the neckline so it doesn't look so plain. I'm contemplating a black eyelet peeking out from underneath the hem, too. We'll see. I think I'm skipping the pockets while I'm ahead.

The first time I've ever been in a position to use one of these parking spaces!
This was at Kroger. I just had to snap a picture. :-)

Our Weekend

2006-10-31T16:52:00.000-06:00

Wish I had taken a picture of Gabe Scott playing the accordian. Bebo was talking about how he thought there was no way to be cool when you play an accordian, because an accordian doesn't rock. Gabe begged to differ, and proceeded to play the intro to "Jump" by Van Halen (the one Van Halen song I can tolerate). It was amusing. :-)

We were about 4 rows back with the perfect angle for a great view. Close to the speakers and the baby was kicking in rhythm to the beat! Not the first time she's done that, either. She is going to be a musician of some kind, I just know it.

It's the Most Maternity Time of the Year...

2006-10-26T17:29:00.000-05:00

Blogger was down yesterday RIGHT at the exact time that I wanted to/had time to blog. So this news is not brand-new anymore, but I am still SUPER excited about it!!!

My box from Sis. Rebekah D. arrived yesterday!!!!!!

Ooodles and oodles of wonderful maternity shirts! They all fit but one!

I did not know how uncomfy I have been until trying these shirts on. Now I feel great because I'm comfortable, and they are so pretty. I have a feeling that once this pregnancy is over, I am going to miss my maternity clothes, because I don't have as much nice non-maternity things!

AND extra baby things too that I was not expecting! Onesies, t-shirts, blankets, and a baby carrier too!

Sis. Rebekah, I do believe that right now there is a halo over your head. Thanks for making my day, week... well, the rest of my pregnancy! :-)

I've ALMOST finished my jumper today too. It looks CUTE!!! I never pre-wash my material, I guess because I'm a weirdo, but all that is left is to sew around the edges of the armholes and neckline so that the facing will stay down, and hem it, so I started it washing before I do that so that I'll have an accurate hemline. Right now the edge sweeps the floor, but I like it long, so I'll keep it at my ankles. I think I'm going to add cargo pockets to the sides because I LOVE pockets, and I'm contemplating adding some black velvety narrow ribbon to the neckline for interest. I will be sure to post pictures once it is all finished.

Your apron is next Kasey, don't worry! That's next weeks project for sure. It'll be a cinch after this jumper. I completely forgot how to turn the drawstring right side out. It took me forever, and then when the light bulb FINALLY came on and I remembered how to do it the easy way, I had already worked on it the hard way for so long my fingertips were getting numb. Oh well! But I'm pleased with the results. I haven't sewn anything for my self since Christmas two years ago, when my Lil' Sis and I sewed pajama pants together. Before that, the last thing I'd sewn for myself was when I was 14. I made coordinating jumpers for Bekah, Mama, and I. So it's been a while!!!

OH! And I found a jean maternity skirt on ebay! It is a straight style skirt ( I really like A-line the best, Sis. Rebekah) but I think it will be big enough to not be too tight in the back. It has a split in the back, but I've repaired that problem before with an insert of stretch denim, so that won't be a problem. And the best part? I won it with 17 seconds to spare, for $2.51! Yay!!!

So this has been a very maternity day. A good day. :-)

Pray all goes well with the diabetes clinic tomorrow. They will be teaching me how to check my blood sugar. Maybe it's a good thing my fingertips are numb, huh?

Oh, and before I forget...

FREE Building 429 concert at Opry Mills tomorrow night at 7!

Bebo Norman/Aaron Shust/Brandon Heath concert at Lipscomb University Saturday night at 7:30

Anyone wanna come with us?

My Honey Bear is Sick

2006-10-25T06:59:00.000-05:00

Brad is sick this morning. He has been fighting a cold, and it was improving. He has been taking echinacea and goldenseal since the first sign, and I think that has held it off, but this morning when he got up he wasn't feeling too swift. He contemplated staying home, but he needs to work and he was joking around a bit so I know he must not feel TOO bad. So off he went. Pray he will get better throughout the day, it's one of the long days for him.

Plenty of Fluid!

2006-10-24T14:49:00.000-05:00

Had the additional ultrasound Friday. Everything is looking good now! Fluid measures 10.5 cm, and the technician said that after years of working with Dr. Deppen, she knows that 10 is her magic number and won't be concerned about it any longer. YAY! That's worth it.

They are recording the ultrasounds for free on DVD for you now! Why could they have not done that with the first one they recorded??? But it is so neat to pop it in and watch our baby periodically. I've watched it several times already. :-) We got a good profile shot, we think she has Brad's nose! She's a cutie! I can't wait to meet her.

Two hour class on Friday morning for the gestational diabetes. I am being a good girl. My one indulgement of the day is my own version of "baby coffee". A tiny tiny amount of coffee, fill the rest with milk, microwave, and stir in a touch of caramel syrup. I'd say that's much improvement over what it has been!!

Finally finished the top half of my jumper today. I've been putting it off but I'm tired of having to scrounge for something decent to wear on Sundays. With this jumper and another one I'll make, and the oodles of maternity shirts Sis. Rebekah Doran has sent to me (a lifesaver!!!), all I'll need is a maternity jean skirt and I'll be set!! People, keep your eyes out for a long jean maternity skirt without slits or kick pleats. A tall order I know, I've had little luck so far!

I'm tired so I'm sure all of this sounds disjointed. Bear with me.

Flashback

2006-10-18T19:00:00.000-05:00

I was looking through some old pictures on my Yahoo photo album, and came across this one. Thought y'all might enjoy seeing it. Wow, that was a long time ago! But this is the most recent picture I have of all of us kids together. Mama, do you have any recent ones from when Josh was home?

The Cook Kids
May 2002
front row, l-r (Isaiah, Me, Rebekah, Jon)
back row, l-r (Joshua, Matthew, Micah)

Baby News

2006-10-18T16:25:00.000-05:00

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday. This time I made the appointment with Dr. Halcomb. There are four lady doctors in the practice, and whichever one happens to be on call when I go into labor, will be the one delivering the baby. So I figured I might as well start getting to know the other doctors.

I like her, but I like Dr. Deppen a whole lot better. She is okay though. It probably was not the best day to meet her for the first time because the other doctors are on vacation right now and she had a delivery that morning before she could come into the office. So I imagine she was tired. But still, she was nice.

I had to wait on her to get there for a little bit while back in the examination room so I took my chart off of the front of the door and read it while waiting. I felt like such a rebellious little patient, though it is MY chart. :-) I was looking at the reports from the ultrasounds. The big one with the guy in downtown Nashville said that my amniotic fluid level was 8.1 cm, and LOW. The follow up one at the office in Hermitage said that it was 8.5 and NORMAL.

So when the doctor got there, I asked her for a second opinion on doing another ultrasound. She said that they wouldn't want to do it if it wasn't important, and that they really need to know if it is still low and not getting lower. I said, even though it had increased between the last two ultrasounds? She said yes, because it was only 8.5 cm. I asked what normal was, and she said at that point, It should be 15-16 cm, which backs up what the freaking out ultrasound dude said. Dr. Deppen said it was just the low side of normal.

So when I got home, I did my own research. EVERYTHING I've read says that anything above 7 cm is NORMAL. Anything below 5 cm is LOW. Point for Dr. Deppen. There was an article put out by John Hopkins that said that lower amniotic fluid levels is not really as big a deal as they thought, as long as everything else is normal.

However, the norm with low amniotic fluid is that there tends to be more cesareans, just because of the stigma associated with it. So, my conclusion is that if I refuse to do another ultrasound, I may find myself in the hospital with a doctor that says I have to do a cesarean because they don't know what the fluid is doing because I refused the ultrasound. I'd rather have the ultrasound than to deal with that, and I think the ultrasound poses a lesser risk than anything else I may have to deal with if I refuse. Gotta pick my battles carefully.

I had my glucose test yesterday too, and I got a call from Nurse Jamie this morning. They said no news was good news. Uh oh. I failed. My glucose level was 205. She said it should around 135. She said that anytime it's over 200 they automatically assume you have gestational diabetes and treat you accordingly. I'll be going Monday morning for a 2 hr class and getting a machine to check my blood sugar every day (hopefully just once a day but they will probably tell me 3 times a day. Grr.). I KNOW I've been eating more sugar lately. I was doing SO well until Wal-Mart came out with candy corn... and it's been downhill from there. So I asked if my recent eating habits could throw off the test, and she said, yes it most certainly could. So watching my diet along with testing my blood sugar will give them a more accurate picture of what it really going on, but at this point it is so high that they need to act accordingly just in case. Which makes sense.

Just what I've always wanted to do, stick myself every day... Oh well. :-)

NEWS FLASH

2006-10-16T18:28:00.000-05:00

My husband has blogged again!

Go visit him and read all about it!

I'm working on a movie/slide show thing to add to it. It's so much fun!

Just Checking In

2006-10-14T22:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I don't blog because I have so much to say that it kind of overwhelms me so I just don't blog at all. I'm like that with a lot of things. It is what has always kept me from letter writing because I don't know how to write short letters. If I don't have time to write a long letter, I just don't write at all. And I can type so much faster than I write... and this overwhelms me too? Oh, the delicate intricate workings of the mind that is mine... God is the only one that is not confused by my maze of thoughts... including me!

Short news clips...

I went to my very first La Leche League meeting on Friday. I am the only second generation LLLer there! I am proof that it works! I was not sure exactly what to expect but I am very pleased and came away with a wealth of encouragement and good advice in regards to childbirth and other things. I am tickled to death and can't wait until next month's meeting!

Friday night was band meeting (small group meeting for those who aren't familiar with the term) at the Donnafield's... I'm feeling more comfortable in such settings recently. I know I'm weird and it's hard for me to get my thoughts out in words like I want them to come out... I feel much more comfortable talking one-on-one. But I am me and I have been more comfortable with me lately. Brad says he thinks that pregnancy has given me a security I lacked before. Perhaps he is right.

We didn't do the yard sale today. Sigh. We were both so tired. But it was so NICE for us to have a relaxing Saturday morning. We have enjoyed each others' company today SO MUCH... He is still my best friend and I would rather hang out with him than any other I know.

We went and bought a cheap coffemaker at Wally World tonight. With Brad's early mornings he has wanted caffeine on his way out the door. Not the healthiest of routines but I can't blame him... he only drinks half a cup anyway. I had the powdered cappucino mix but ran out... and that stuff isn't the best. So we now have a little 4-cup coffee maker with a timer, so I can prepare it at night and we can wake up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee... I happen to have Irish Creme grounds in the cabinet so we're off to a good start. But now I will be jealous so I'm going to have to go on a search for yummy flavored decaf grounds. I can make a half pot for him, then another half pot for me afterwards. With the weather turning colder the idea of a cup of coffee in the the mornings sounds inviting, though normally I am not a coffee person. I prefer hot tea. Chai tea is the best stuff this side of the planet, and the other side too apparently because Josh discovered it while in Iraq on a night he was visiting in a home of one of the locals. He loves it!

I've been in a severely crafty mood lately (*rubs hands together*). Ok, not THAT kind of crafty. I knitted two dishcloths, crocheted another, finished a scarf I started last year (wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles), I've started on a fall wreath for the front door... I will post pictures when it's finished because I think it's going to be major cute. Almost finished cutting out a jumper for me... I wanted it finished to wear tomorrow. Once I get it all cut out the sewing is a snap. I'm going to be making a cute retro kitchen apron for Kasey... Will post pictures of that too! I feel WOMANLY again. I always dreamed of being a housewife who cooks all the time, whose house smells of freshly baked bread all the time, decorated with her own handicrafts, wearing clothes she made herself, with well-behaved children all around.... OK, so I know real life is not as glamorous as all that, but I can dream, can't I? At least I am reclaiming a portion of my old dreams. :-)

New Tummy Photo

2006-10-08T09:17:00.000-05:00

Month 7

Never mind

2006-10-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, so all of you worried doting mothers out there will be glad to know that we decided to not go camping after all... THIS week. Ha ha! I did buy a body pillow just for this purpose and WOW I should have bought one of those sooner! I did not realize exactly how uncomfortable I've been until sleeping with it last night. It's a nice thing to be short because I can put it between my knees and lower legs, support my tummy on it, and rest my head on it too. COMFY!!

As soon as Brad is done getting ready (yes I'm actually ready before he is!), we are going to go out for the day. We plan on getting some lunch, touring the B17 World War II bomber that is in town this weekend ($10 for a family, not bad), then going to the corn maze afterwards. It's a gorgeous day out there and it is going to be so nice to get some fresh air.

I'm going to try to get a new tummy shot today too. I just realized today that I totally missed month 6! I'm starting month 7 already! I'm such a slacker, but whenever I would think of it I wouldn't be wearing something I wanted a picture taken in. Today is a good day though. :-)

You Have Reached Rachel...

2006-10-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

Taking advantage of the wonderful fall weather that has suddenly appeared and going camping for the weekend. I'm such a bad blogger I know. Will return in full force next week.

Leave a message after the tone...

*BEEP*

This is the day that the Lord hath made...

2006-10-02T02:34:00.000-05:00

It is after 2 in the morning and I just can't sleep. It could be due to all of the sugar I consumed today, but regardless, I can't sleep. They tell you that when you can't sleep, rather than just lie there forever, get up and do something until you ARE sleepy. It hasn't worked so far. So I'm going to blog a bit.

It was a wonderful Sunday! Brad worked again on Saturday so it makes getting up early on Sunday really hard on both of us, so we didn't make it to Sunday School. It's really a bummer that just as I start feeling fabulously pregnant and can make it to Sunday School, they start this Saturday work thing. We do need the overtime right now though, so it's a blessing. God knows that we do the best we can and so does the church.

Anyway, I helped Sis. Shaw with Children's Church this morning. It was SO MUCH FUN! We are learning about Truth, and she came out of the back in a trenchcoat with a magnifying glass, saying in a funny accent, "Where's the truth?? Are you the truth? Do you have the truth?" With black footprints on the floor to go with the detective theme. It thoroughly amused the kiddos. We basically learned about how God is truth and He will show us the truth if we look for it. So for the next 6 months or so we are all detectives snooping out the truth. It was cute! Sis. Shaw DEFINITELY needs to start a blog so that SHE can tell the whole world about all of this (you lurker, you!)!

She asked me to help again next Sunday, because she wants to use me as much as possible before the baby comes and then I'll have my hands full for awhile! I'm excited because I have really missed being with the kids.

We had a good lunch after church with the youth group for our meeting to kind of kick off the new year. I am SO EXCITED about the coming year. It is going to be FANTASTIC having youth service every Wednesday!!! We're having a yard sale (girls against the boys) at some point this month, which explains why I have been unable to get my own yard sale together. God knew I'd need to contribute all of that junk to the youth yard sale so that the girls can win! Yay!

I started to post about our afternoon with Brandon and Tyler, and just thinking about it made me very tired. Ha! So thanks guys! I'm off to bed now, and I'll finish blogging tomorrow.

Overdue

2006-09-29T09:52:00.001-05:00

Well I've had fifteen million exciting things to blog about but right now my hands are tied!!! So... I guess I will just wait on that a bit longer. Just help me pray about some VERY IMPORTANT things that may happen!

In other news... yesterday Rose & Becky abducted me and took me to the new Joann's in Mt. Juliet. I didn't even know they were open yet, but they've been open since July! If I had known that I would have been there a LOT sooner!! They have a 50% off coupon thing online that is good until Sunday so I may go and get some material for a jumper later this weekend. I have GOT to get started on that because nothing is fitting. I have some maternity shirts but my one skirt that fits me is WORN OUT so I've gotta do something else. I'm debating whether or not to make a jean skirt or get a big cheaper non-maternity one and put a stretch panel in it if need be later on. Regular maternity skirts are outrageously priced. OH well.

Anyhow, I had a good time with Becky & Rose. It was SO NICE to get out of the house, I was having a cabin fever kind of day. They took me out to Pizza Hut and I thoroughly stuffed myself. It was SOOO yummy! It's funny though, I hardly ever do that anymore. For the longest time early in this pregnancy I couldn't eat much at one sitting at all, but I'd eat more often. Now I'm eating larger portions, but still not like I used to. That's a good thing, though I never really did eat large portions on a regular basis. But now, whenever I DO happen to stuff myself, it feels so weird in there! My stomach is expanded and squishing everything else that is already being squished, and nothing in there knows exactly where it's supposed to go! It's quite amusing!

Then we stopped by Kroger and I got some soup for Brad and some country ham hock slices to cook with navy beans... since it's getting colder I suddenly had the urge to make a crockpot of beans. And they just don't taste right unless cooked with ham or bacon. So yeah. Rose got me a butterfinger! Yay! I was way too stuffed to enjoy it at the time but now I'm enjoying my chocolate fix quite nicely, thank you Rose! :-)

Fall is here!!!!! I am so thrilled. I actually turned off the air conditioner yesterday and I doubt I will need to turn it back on! It is 47 degrees outside and I am wearing long sleeves, flannel jammie pants, and warm fuzzy socks (only like the 3rd time I've worn socks so far! Bye bye flip flops!). This morning I actually had a hot cup of (sugar-free decaf) International House of Coffee French Vanilla Mocha. Yumm! Time to get my hot teas out too!

I absolutely ADORE this time of year. It's pretty much the only time I enjoy being outside. I like winter but you can only endure so much time outside in it. Fall is my outdoor weather, Winter is my bundle-up-on-the-couch-with-my-sweetie-with-hot-chocolate and wish-we-had-a-fireplace time. Both seasons have definite good points.

I am excited about the youth work at church this year! I'm going to miss Sis. Kim being our leader, but she will still be there to support us I know because its in her heart to do so. I think that the Donnafields are going to do a GREAT job! Plus we are going to start having VLB (Victory Leaders Band, the name of our youth group) night EVERY Wednesday! Yay!!! I am so thrilled, and I think that everyone is much more likely to get involved that way. I can't wait to see what's gonna happen this year!!

Hippie Mama

2006-09-29T09:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know I'm due for another tummy shot but this is all I've got right now. I'll have to get a real one later. This was taken this week when Brad came and kidnapped me after work, took me to get Subway and brought me to the park for a picnic. It was lovely!! Even when the kiddie soccer team arrived to practice below us and almost hit Brad with a soccer ball, it didn't ruin it!

This picture makes my tummy look funny and distorted but oh well. And how do y'all like my polyester hippie preggo mama shirt?? Ha ha!

Latest Doc Appointment

2006-09-19T17:36:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all! We were in bed by 8 pm last night so I'm feeling better. Though I still did NOT want to get up this morning when Brad was getting ready for work. I was a bit grumpy. Brad just laughed at me and kissed me goodbye and told me to go back to bed. :-) So I did, but not for very long. Oh well. I felt better today but this afternoon I have felt kinda yucky in my tummy. Don't know what's up with that, but it's getting better now.

I'm waiting on Brad to get home from work. We're having Mexican Soft Taco Bake tonight. Good old Taco Bell boxed fix-a-meals. Ha ha!

The doctor's appointment yesterday went well. My blood pressure was higher than it has been due to my sleep deprivation yesterday I'm sure, but it was still good. I'm measuring a couple weeks small, but as Nurse Jamie said, "Some people just don't have big honkin' babies, that's all!" She is a sweetheart. :-)

Dr. Deppen was thoroughly exasperated at the radiologist for getting in such a tizzy over my amniotic fluid level. She said that up until the 19th week there are very specific numbers that they look for when measuring the fluid levels, but after that, it varies so much that there is a very wide range. I am just on the low side of normal, AND it has increased between ultrasounds, so she said there is nothing to worry about. She does want to do another one in a month just to make sure that it hasn't dipped below the normal zone. Otherwise, everything is looking great! OH, and the baby was close enough to the surface that when the nurse used the doppler, we could actually hear the "bump, bump" of her heartbeat instead of the usual "whoosh, whoosh" echo of her heartbeat. It was so neat! And it gets stronger everytime. It was so cool.

Last night she was kicking in bed, and Brad laid his hand on my tummy. She kicked him HARD, and it felt like a whole foot! It was so cute! It's so neat now that he can feel her too now. She moves more when he talks to her. I think she really knows his voice as opposed to mine.

I must finish dinner. Brad is late but he SHOULD be here any minute! Hopefully!

Must... have... sleep

2006-09-18T15:03:00.000-05:00

I am so tired today. Brad and I were up talking into they way too late hours of the night after a very thought provoking discussion with the Campbells and Bro. Shaw after church last night. I love those people.

Brad is working in Cool Springs this week and I had a doc appt. today so I had to get up with him at 3:45 to get him ready for work and head to Murfreesboro by around 5 am ish so that I could have the car today.

I slept way too little and boy am I feeling it now. I just hope that Brad has made it through the day ok. Poor baby. I have a feeling we'll be crashing before 7.

Gotta train them early...

2006-09-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

I have GOT to get these onesies!!! I know, it's shameless exploitation of my child for advertising purposes, but hey, as long as it's something I would advertise myself (the product part, not the "I pood" part!)!!

Doesn't this newborn make that Shuffle look huge?? I can't wait until I have one of my own to hold... the baby, not the iPod. :-)

Goin' to the Chapel...

2006-09-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

Here it is folks, my first baby brother is now ENGAGED!!! I didn't post about it before because I wanted to wait until I could call and talk to both of them on the phone. It just didn't seem RIGHT to congratulate Jon & Jaci for the first time on the internet! I had called Jon a couple weeks ago but I just called Jaci on Tuesday so hence the delay.

I am so excited for them! They seem suited to each other and they are both very happy. They are going to wait until they are out of college to actually tie the knot, seeing as how one of them will be in Arkansas, and the other in Kansas. But you never know how long that resolve might actually last. I'm sure you could find SOMETHING to study at Tech, Jaci! Marriage doesn't HAVE to ruin your plans for the future. Ok, I'll get off my big sister soap box now. ;-p

They ARE officially engaged now, however, Jon has yet to actually do the actual official special proposal. Knowing Jon though, it'll be good, but my sisterly advice to him was to not make the poor girl wait too long!

Love you guys!

CONGRATULATIONS JON & JACI!!!!

Another Ultrasound

2006-09-14T07:24:00.000-05:00

I know it seems silly to blog about the whole tire fiasco before I blog about the baby, but once I got started on that story, I just had to finish.

I had another ultrasound last Thursday, at my doctor's Hermitage office this time. Everything is looking good! I asked the technician WHY did the fancy schmancy diagnostic imaging guy say there was only 50% as much fluid as there needs to be, but Dr. Deppen said that it's just on the low side of normal? She said that the dude has a reputation for having extremely high expectations for fluid levels and he freaks out over that frequently. They are used to that. So the nice ultrasound lady said there is still less fluid than they would like, but it has increased since the last ultrasound, and everything is looking good! Baby girl has caught up in size too, since then. She weighs a whole 1 lb. 3 oz!!!

It was so adorable this time, she kept on opening and closing her mouth. And THEN she got hiccups! We were watching her from the side and her little mouth would open and her tummy would jiggle with her hiccups! It was so cute! Poor thing, but it was so adorable!

I have another doctor's appointment on Monday. The ultrasound lady said that Dr. Deppen will probably want to do another ultrasound later on, just to keep tabs on the fluid and make sure it's still increasing. It's so nice to know that everything is ok and my baby is doing well.

The Great Tire Saga, Part Two

2006-09-12T06:43:00.000-05:00

So when I got to the automotive department, they told me I was finished (and it didn't look like they had JUST finished, either. So why hadn't they paged me? I WAS listening and waiting for it). So I paid, and I'm thinking, cool, they didn't charge me anything to put the tire on the rim.

So I get out there and look in the back of the car, and the tire is STILL SITTING THERE on top of the flat!!! WHAT??? So I look closely at the receipt, and down at the bottom it says, "DECLINED-TIRE DAMAGED PRIOR". Grr. So I go back in and ask the desk clerk what this means. Damaged, how? Of course she doesn't know anything and directs me to go back out and ask for Jason, who worked on it. So little me, who HATES confrontation, especially with mechanic type dudes, walks out the door and says to about 5 dudes out there, "I'm supposed to ask for a Jason?" Grrr. So anyway, Jason was nice, and he took me out to the car to show me how the tire was damaged. The lining on the inside was wearing out and he said that it wasn't safe to mount. He said he even asked his manager to be sure. Grrr. (and WHY, if they only did an oil change, didn't they page me 1 1/2 hours earlier???)

Well, this was the tire we had been riding on for two days, and I figured something was better than nothing, so I decided to go back to the Goodyear place and see what THEY said about it. If someone would put it on the rim for me, at least we'd have something to drive 20 mph on to the next exit if we ended up with another flat.

So I go in there and the manager guy was at the counter. I told him what the dudes did on Tuesday. He's like, "You mean they didn't even mount it for you?" I told him he was welcome to go out and look in the back of my car and see for himself! (I was very nice, but this is sassy for me. I HATE making stinks. If I can live with it, I will. I won't even say anything if my order is wrong in a restaurant. It has to be REALLY bad for me to say anything.)

So he goes out and gets the genius who rang me up on Tuesday. He said, we didn't know there was another tire in the back, we didn't know you wanted that one mounted. I said, Well, perhaps I should have made myself more clear, but I figured it would be a no-brainer since I specifically told you that I wanted to keep it because it's my SPARE TIRE. (OOH! Getting REALLY sassy now!! But still nice. lol)

He stared at me blankly, and said ok and went back out. ANOTHER mechanic guy comes out there (this one was very polite to me) and says that the tire is no good and wants me to come out there so he can show me. Well, not only is the lining wearing off, it's wearing off a LOT. There is about 3 cups of powder sitting in the tire from the lining wearing off. YIKES! PLUS the rim has rubbed against the tire and has almost wore holes all around the outside sidewall. Most definitely NOT safe and it's a wonder it made it as long as it did. So he asks the other guy if they have another tire in the back. I'm like, No, I can't afford another tire right now, I'll have to ask my husband what he wants to do. Turns out they were wanting to GIVE me a decent used tire to use as a spare. Apparently some rich people come in there and get new tires really often and they keep the decent ones. They don't sell used tires so they are just sitting there. And just happened to be the all-elusive right size, too!

So they put the new/old spare on the rim for me, and would have put it back on the door for me too had we been able to find the lug nuts for it. All for no charge.

So I guess since they were nice to me and made it right for no charge, even better than what I wanted, they aren't TOTAL doofbrains after all. I actually might decide to give them my business again.

Maybe.

The Great Tire Saga, Part One

2006-09-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, well we drove straight home from Assembly Sunday night, even though it was late, because it's only a 2 hour drive. We pulled in the driveway about 12:30 am. As Brad pulled in, he side swiped the trash can that was sitting at the curb, and when I opened my car door, we heard a loud hissing noise. But we were tired so we figured we'd just figure it out in the morning.

Well the next morning Brad was going to go run some errands but discovered we had a flat tire. There's some pretty bad sidewall damage. There is nothing in the driveway that could have done this, and though he sideswiped the trash can that shouldn't have done it unless there was something in the tire already and the trash can just pushed it in all the way, but we couldn't find a thing. At any rate, it's a blessing that it happened as we were pulling into the driveway and not while going 70 mph down the interstate!

Of course everyone was closed due to Monday being a holiday, except for Wal-Mart. And they don't carry our size tire AT ALL, apparently it's an unusual size, and it would take them a week to special order it and get it in. I called EVERY Wal-Mart in the Nashville area and they all said the same thing. Grrr.

So I searched online Tuesday for the size tire we needed and it turns out like only TWO companies make that size tire. Goodyear seemed the cheapest (but still cost about $100 total... thankfully someone at Assembly blessed us with just the amount we needed, you know who you are! God provided for our need before we knew we needed it!). So I called the closest actual Goodyear dealer and they were only $3 over what it would have cost to have Wal-Mart special order it, PLUS they actually had the tire in stock! Imagine that!

So I went over there and had them put the new tire on. When I paid, I asked if they just put the other tire in the back cargo area. They said, "What tire?" The one that was on the right rear that you took off to put the new tire on (duh.).
"Oh, you wanted that?" Yes, that's our spare! "Oh ok, dude, put that tire in the back for her." Ok, thanks.

Later that day, I look in the back of the car, and do you know what they did? Instead of taking the flat out of the back of the car and putting the new tire on that rim, they took the spare off, put the new tire on the spare rim, and when I said that I wanted to keep the spare, they tossed the tire in the back on top of the flat WITHOUT a rim. Excuse me, but how am I supposed to USE my spare if it doesn't have a rim on it?!?

Sigh. I couldn't do anything about it until Wednesday. And I really didn't want to go back there and cause waves, so I decided to just go to Wal-Mart and have them do it, plus we needed an oil change anyway.

So after my ultrasound appt. Wednesday (which I will blog about later), I went back to Lebanon Wal-Mart. They told me it would be a 1 1/2 hr wait for the oil change, and a 3 hr wait for the tire. Yikes! But I thought, well, it needs to be done anyway and I can easily spend 3 hrs in Wal-Mart... yeah right.

So I wandered around for awhile, then headed to the book section to sit on the bench and read (and I didn't even fall asleep this time!). I read half of Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, kind of a retelling of the Book of Hosea around the turn of the century thereabouts. The book of Hosea is one of the most moving books of the Bible, in my opinion, and has always been a favorite of mine. Look it up and read it, those who haven't. I guarantee you won't regret it.

Anyway, now I'll have to go hang out in Wal-Mart again and finish the book! I just couldn't sit on that bench any longer, so I put it back on the shelf and wandered around a bit more, then went to eat lunch at the McDonald's in there. Three hours had passed and they STILL hadn't paged me. So I went to go see what the deal was.

To be continued...

Our Assembly Weekend

2006-09-06T14:30:00.000-05:00

Back to blogging now. I'm such a slacker!

We had such a good time in Chattanooga. Our church convention (General Assembly) was awesome. There was a pretty big decision to be made and although there was some confusion at first, in the end, God took control and cleared the confusion. We're headed on the right road!

It was so good to see some of our good friends there. The Strongs, the Lamms, the Hills, the Mountain View gang, and so many others. I got to meet the Adams' and Mandie, though briefly. Although there wasn't a lot of time for visiting, but we had already decided that this Assembly was more to us that a big social event anway. We also had a good time seeing Brad's parents. We hadn't seen Julie since Thanksgiving, so visiting in person with her was a long awaited treat! I'm blessed to have in-laws who love me. :-)

We ended up camping for our stay there! It was only $15 dollars a night, and I thought I could handle 3 nights in a tent. It was a good campground, Racoon Mountain and I did okay in the tent. If I was further along than I am I couldn't have done it though. They have cute little air-conditioned cabins too for $25-35 a night so I think I want to do that next year. It was more convenient to downtown than any one else's hotel! Except for Brad's parents, they stayed at the same exit as us, and they were kind enough to let us shower in their room when we woke up late and the camp people were already cleaning the showers (at 8:30 am!!). At any rate, I told Brad that camping out would make us feel closer to the people who attended Assemblies past, in the early 1900's!

We had a good time out late with Isaiah Peter at IHOP on Saturday night. I was SOOOO tired so of course I was talking absolutely out of my head. Isaiah was so kind to put up with me! Bro. Jason Mullins was sitting behind us with his crew so I hope we didn't disturb them too much with our ruckus!

Sunday after the Assembly adjourned we went out to eat with the Hills and the Lamms. After about 30 minutes of deliberation of where we were going to eat, Bro. Mark decided he wanted a pizza joint, and they only one we knew of was a little place Brad & I had driven by on the way to IHOP the night before. So we went there and it was pretty good ( I was worried it would be horrid since we'd never ate there and I had suggested it!). They ended up being a Pizza/Sub/Cheesesteak/Hot Wing place. Yummy! We had a good time with them and all their kids. The Lamm boys still remember when we stayed the weekend with them and I thoroughly amused them by calling pajamas "jammies". They are cuties!

Afterwards, we went with the Hills to hang out with them for awhile at their hotel room. I'll let Brad share the pictures of that. And I used to think they were quiet people! Yeah right! Ha ha! We had a blast with them and the boys. We've asked Joe & Karen to be the godparents, though I still think that's a funny name! We'll have to come up with something different. :-) You hate to think of something happening to us but it's worse to think of what would happen to our baby if we weren't prepared. I trust the Hills to raise our little girl like we would. There were others we could have picked, but we felt like while the others would do a good job, our baby would have been more of a burden to the others we considered. If that makes any sense. But we felt like they were the ones that God wanted us to ask, so I'm glad we did. :-)

'Fess up!

2006-08-30T12:23:00.000-05:00

Ok, WHO signed me up for Babyblogorama??? That's just weird! Cool, but freaking me out!

Sleep, you know I never get enough...

2006-08-30T06:58:00.000-05:00

*listening to: "Sleep" by Riley Armstrong* (be sure to check out the link!)

It is way too early. I have a ton of stuff to do today to get ready to go to Assembly tomorrow morning but I am so tired right now. It is taking every once of strength I have to even type on this keyboard. So WHY am I up, you ask? Because I got up at 4:30 am to get Brad's lunch ready and make him breakfast and other assorted stuff like that. But now it is almost 7 and I hear the bed telling me that I left it too soon.

I have a ton of laundry to do. Dishes need to be done. I'd like to leave the house in some semblance of order. Yeah right. When was the last time THAT occured around here???

We have decided that we don't want to spend $30 a month on a storage unit anymore, so next week we are going to pull everything out of there and have a massive yard sale next weekend. We might do a mini-one on Monday, since it's Labor Day. A lot of people will be out of town, I know, but a lot of people will just stay in town and grill out or something. So we could sell some on Monday and sell the rest of it on Friday and Saturday. Of course that would mean setting the thing up twice, and I don't think I want to do that. Oh well.

Ok, I'm gonna go start some laundry and then go lay down again for a bit, and maybe I'll have more energy after awhile.

Shawna & JJ's Wedding

2006-08-30T06:40:00.000-05:00

Here's a few pictures from the wedding of Shawna & JJ that we went to Saturday evening. It was very elegant without being stuffy. First time I've been to a formal wedding like that was, and only the 4th wedding I've been to period! Jerry was so nervous he wouldn't even look at Shawna when he was repeating his vows. She was all trying to cock her head at him trying to get him to look at her. Reminded me of my wedding when we played Tim Strong's "With Your Hand in Mine" after we lit the unity candle, and had to tell Brad to hold my hand! But anyhow, it was a lovely wedding and the food was awesome, and that's the important part, right? KIDDING! I wish there had been more material on the girls' dresses, but it could have been worse I suppose.

Jerry in the limo that transported them to the reception

Pictures on the table when you walked into the reception. Cute! I couldn't get the thing to not glare, but oh well. Shawna's t-shirt says "I Love JJ" :-)

Walking into the reception after being introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Jerry Jones.
They are such a happy couple!

Weekend Photos

2006-08-29T11:33:00.000-05:00

Settling in at the concert...

Eating lunch that Becky packed for us.
It's hot out, but we're still OK so far.

OK, now we're not ok.
Chris resorts to swiping some ice and him and Becky take turns.

Plumb with her 7 month pregnant tummy and her new hairdo
*mourns loss of long curls*

Brad was tickled because the Arizona flag is hanging off the speaker thingy.

Getting ready to head home.
We survived!
And isn't Becky's outfit pretty?

My long weekend details

2006-08-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all!

Thursday evening we had a good dinner in Nashville with Scott & Angie. They are awesome! That was my first time meeting Scott and the first time I'd ever really been able to visit with Angie. Angie and I are definitely kindred spirits and Scott is a hoot! He has our sense of humor, that's for sure. But we all had wonderful conversation and we really appreciated their good spirit. Angie will be at Assembly and I look forward to visiting with them both again sometime.

I had a good birthday Friday, I'm the ripe old age of 24 now. Weirdness. I talked to my Mama for a long time on the phone, I'm so glad that it was her that helped bring me into the world. She rocks. :-)

Brad came home with beautiful roses and the new Plumb album, in a gift bag that he so carefully arranged, it was so sweet. And he wrote me a note in my birthday card that was the SWEETEST thing ever and he made me cry. We got ready and he took me to eat at Demos'. We hadn't ever been there before but had heard awesome things about it, and boy, they weren't kidding! It was voted the most romantic place to eat in Lebanon. It was classy without being stuffy. And the prices weren't bad either. Because it was my birthday, I decided to have the steak & shrimp, I never go extravagant so it was a nice treat, and in spite of that we still got out of there for a decent price. It was a lovely dinner and we immensly enjoyed each other's company. We have always been so close but our fellowship is just intensified lately and it just gets sweeter and sweeter.

Saturday we went to a free outdoor concert in Franklin. We missed Nate Sallie and Hyperstatic Union, but we got there for By the Tree (who was OK but their performance was kind of weak) and Plumb who was the headliner. She is one of my favorites, her lyrics are so artistic and have spoken my feelings in song so many times it's not even funny. Plus she just ROCKS! She is 7 months pregnant now and about to pop or she would have been even better than she was! Becky & Chris came with us and I know they must love us now because it had to be like 100 degrees out there and we sat in the sun for about 2 hrs. We drank a lot of water and lemonade and had ice cream too. Chris even swiped a chunk of ice out of the Purity booth's cooler and had it sitting on his head. It looked very comfortable!

After the concert we rushed home, showered and dressed and went to a wedding. We both have worked with Shawna & Jerry and they have been good aquaintances so they invited us to the wedding. Shawna is a sweetheart and claims to be a Christian.... It was a sweet wedding. Good food at the reception too! We visited with another co-worker, Dave, and met his wife Joann. That was fun. She was telling us all about her trips to Europe and her experiences there. It was a very amusing time. We stayed long enough to eat and see the bride & groom arrive, extend our good wishes to both and tell them we were praying for them, and made our exit as they were announcing that the bar was open and they would be setting up the dance floor! Ah, sorry, no. :-(

Pictures coming soon, I have to figure out to make the optical zoom on my camera stick so that I can upload them that way. Anyone know what I'm talking about? I know Becky does. I have to break out the manual, I suppose, but I'd much prefer finding things like that out for myself. Oh well.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

2006-08-25T18:40:00.000-05:00

As if no one has already guessed that due to the recent hue changes of my blog. :-D

We are so excited! I will never forget that moment, looking up at that screen.... When the technician said, "It's a girl." We both just gasped and Brad said, "Wow!" And we were both crying.

She was adorable and we could see her really well! It was so cute, she had her legs all crossed up and her hand in the way too so we couldn't tell anything, and the technician was prodding her with the thing to get her to change position, and we were looking at her profile, and she balled up her little fist and bent her elbow and punched several times up at the thing that was poking her! It was so cute!!! Brad says she's going to be just like her mother (meaning we're spirited, not that we're violent!). :-)

They said the baby looks GREAT! She is measuring kind of small, more like 19 weeks instead of 21 weeks. But no biggie there. The only thing they are concerned about is that I only have 1/2 as much amniotic fluid in there as they want me to have. They said a few things could cause it, high blood pressure, diabetes, overexertion. None of those apply to me, I don't do hardly a thing around here anymore because I get tired out so easily, and my blood pressure has been wonderful. No sign of diabetes. They said that it could possibly indicate a Downs syndrome baby, but the baby looks too good for that to be the case so that is out the window. They said that it's possible that it's just a fluke thing and it's normal for this baby to have less amniotic fluid. But they are going to do a blood test to make sure that I don't have a lingering infection somewhere, and then go do another ultrasound in a couple weeks just to keep an eye on things. I'm just glad that the baby is looking so healthy, so I'm not really worried about it, we'll just need to keep tabs on the situation. I'm trusting God to have his way with this little life.

Sigh. I'm so glad to be a Mommy and know that I'm having a little girl! We are going out to dinner tonight for my birthday and then going shopping for something pink or purple!!

Will post more pictures later. :-)

First Baby Pictures

2006-08-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

Her Profile

She turned her head to look at us!!

Her arm from elbow to fingertips

Kind of hard to tell, but it's the sole of her foot with her toes on the right

Getting Picture Happy

2006-08-24T09:36:00.000-05:00

My brother Joshua and me during his 2 week leave home in Arkansas. He just got promoted from Private First Class to Specialist! Mom was surprised that it happened so soon after he got back to Iraq, but I told her they must be just rewarding him for not going AWOL during his leave! Yeah, I'm sure that was the determining factor. Whatever, me. :-)

Josh & Heather. They are such an ADORABLE couple!

Visitors from the West

2006-08-24T08:04:00.000-05:00

Oh, and tonight we are going to go out to dinner with Scott & Angie Bambrough, Brad's former pastor in the Church of God of Prophecy in Tuscon, AZ. For those who don't know them, she's one of the Lewis girls. They are in town this week so we're going to get to meet with them. They have been a big part of Brad's life, Scott has known Brad practically since he was born! Ok, maybe he was 2 or 3, but close! I met Angie briefly at the VA/WV Ladies' Retreat last year, but she had to leave because her dad was having major health problems. But this will be the first I've got to meet Scott. Brad has been trying to do his best impersonation of him, with Scott-isms and stuff. "MapQuest it, or 'Randy McNally it' as Scott would say." So I'm sure he's a hoot. :-)

Pray it all goes well! I'm always a little nervous meeting new people.

Sewing, Anti-Fashion, and Surprises Gone Wrong

2006-08-24T07:30:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

First of all, I have BIG news that I wasn't going to share until this evening but SOME PEOPLE don't know how to evade a question and throw someone off track without lying (Goodness, didn't Brad ever keep any Christmas present secrets?).

Anyway, when I went into my doctor's appointment Monday, I tried to get them to reschedule my ultrasound appointment so that it wouldn't be during the Assembly, even if it meant having to wait longer. :-( Well, they felt so bad for me that I had to miss my last appointment that that they decided to work me in TODAY!!!! Yay!!!!!

I'm so excited!!!! We ran into Walgreens after church last night for toothpaste, and they had the cutest little baby fleece blankets for a dollar a piece. I almost got a couple, but I thought, no, I'll wait, maybe tomorrow I'll know if I need to get blue or pink! I HOPE this child isn't modest yet!

I'm picking Brad up from work at noon, and heading to Nashville. Our appointment is at 2:40, so we should be there and waiting in plenty of time.

Happiness! I'm so glad I don't have to wait any longer. :-)

Second, my maternity pattern I got on Ebay came in the mail yesterday. I can't find a thing I like that is made already and all the patterns at Wal-Mart are pretty much blah. So I found a couple patterns online, and a couple more should be coming in soon too. Now I just need to make a trip to a fabric store and find some cheap material. I have some wonderful purple velvet material but I'm going to wait and make a nice winter dress with that later on. But if we make it to any part of Assembly (hopefully the whole thing, we'll see!) I'm going to need more church clothes. So I'm gonna get sewing!

This is the pattern that came yesterday. I'm going to make the longer one and add 3/4 sleeves and do something to the neckline. I'm thinking about making the main part of the dress print, and then doing the sleeves in white with a matching inset for the v-neckline to make it look like a jumper 2-piece set. I'm not sure yet. We'll see what kind of material I find.

You can't tell it from the picture, but the long one is not flared enough and has a back slit, which I don't do (if you're going to have a slit, why not just cut it off where the slit begins? Everyone can see your legs anyway. Oh wait. Some do. Never mind :-/). So I'm going to cut the skirt a bit wider going towards the hemline so it will be more A-line.

This is going to be fun! I haven't sewn anything in a while, so I'm looking forward to getting started again.

I told Sis. Smith on Mom Riddell's blog that I would post my story about fashion. So here it is. When I was younger, I absolutely REFUSED to wear anything that was in style, simply because it was in style. When everyone started wearing butterfly clips in their hair, I was repulsed. Under no circumstances would you catch me with one because everyone else was wearing them! My Mama always told me that if you have a group of girls, and they are all wearing pink t-shirts, and there is one girl in the middle who is wearing a purple t-shirt, who do you think is going to stand out the most? That left a huge impression on me. Not to draw attention to myself, but just to not care about being different. Now, if I find something modest that I like that just HAPPENS to be in style, then that's OK. But I'm sure not gonna let those money-grubbing worldy fashion mongers dictate MY life! Ha ha!

Say a prayer that all goes well with the ultrasound today! This morning when I dropped Brad off at work I said, "See you later, Baby!" He looked at me, I laughed, and said, "See you later too, Daddy!" :-)

Weep With Those Who Weep

2006-08-23T14:54:00.000-05:00

I feel bad right now because I have a baby and Becky doesn't. I feel guilty for being happy when she isn't. Sigh. There's a lot of things I don't understand.

I have thought about making a separate blog for baby stuff. Because I feel like I'm just rubbing it in by having all this here, even when I know that she knows that I'm not. It's just hard because this is pretty much my whole life right now.

I know that she knows that I love her and I'm sorry and I would fix everything for her if I could. I know that God must have a reason but that doesn't make things hurt any less.

I know that the only thing that has got me through some pretty heart wrenching things in the past was my relationship with Jesus. But I haven't ever been through anything like she's been through. I can't relate on the same level.

So I don't know what to do. Keep praying is the only thing right now.

Month 5

2006-08-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

Twenty Weeks and Five Days

A Quick Note

2006-08-22T08:22:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

Had another doctor's appointment yesterday. It went well. They have a new nurse there and she was sweet. She had a hard time finding the baby's heartbeat at first, and I was beginning to get a little worried, because I hadn't felt the baby move that morning yet either, but she found it. I guess it's just because there's more room for the baby to move around in there right now.

She also measured me for the first time. She said I'm measuring at 21? Whatever that means. That couldn't mean less to me. I just wanna know that everything is OK.

And everything is looking good!

Brad took new tummy photos Sunday, I will have to post them later today. That and pictures of Brad in his electrician get-up. He's so cute. :-)

I have a bunch more to post but that would take time I don't have right now. I have errands to run so I'd better go get a shower and get moving!

(Oh, and go read Brad's blog. He will fill you in on some things I didn't.)

:-)

PIZZA!!!!

2006-08-18T18:44:00.000-05:00

Being able to order Papa John's online for delivery with an e-mail coupon ROCKS!!!!

(Sorry, Mama, don't mean to rub it in, but see what you have to look forward to if you move to TN? You can actually have stuff delivered to your door!!)

Today's Non-diatribe

2006-08-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. Today is a weird day.

I have a lot on my mind and heart and some things I'm not sure what to do about. God knows though.

I'm hoping that Brad will be able to get off of work for Assemby (our yearly worldwide church convention for those who don't know). We'll see what happens.

I talked to my Mom this morning. We always have a blast talking. I definitely inherited a lot of my personality traits from my Mama. However, the older I get the more HILBURN I tend to be!!! ha ha! My Dad's mom always had this thing she would always say when we were younger. ANYTHING good about us grandkids, ANYTHING at all, was automatically labeled a Hilburn family trait (my grandmother's maiden name). My naturally curly hair. My craft skills. The way my eyebrows curve. ANYTHING! My Mama was like, didn't they get anything good from MY side of the family??? So it became a joke in our house that anything odd or weird or corny we do is a Hilburn trait. If you're around my Daddy long enough, you'd think so too! ha ha! Just kidding, I love my Daddy, but he CAN be corny. :-)

I had a good chat with my mother-in-law too. She's so sweet. I'm so glad I have people around me who help me be what I need to be. And she never makes me feel bad for interrupting something so she can talk to me! I try not to though because she has a lot going on right now.

Don't we all?

And many more...

2006-08-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Jonny!!!

It's my big little brother's 22nd birthday today. How fast time has flown by! I couldn't imagine growing up without Jon. We have had our disagreements from time to time, and I haven't always been a good big sister to him, but I love him to death and I wouldn't trade him for a thing in this world. He's one of the smartest people I know. We used to be washing dishes together in the kitchen, me washing, and Jon drying, and and Jon would start talking about something scientific that went right over my head. I'd just nod and "uh huh" and tune him out. But Jon & I have had some very interesting discussions over the years, oh how I wish I had every one of those conversations recorded somewhere!

And now so much has changed. But let's not forget the good times we've had together, okay? Throughout the years you've not just been a brother to me, you've been a good friend. You've seen me go through a lot of junk! Thanks for hanging in there. Thanks for the talks. Thanks for the craziness that no one but our family would have understood.

Thanks for a lot. I love you, Jon.

Happy Birthday from your Big Sister.

Here We Go Again!

2006-08-17T14:34:00.000-05:00

*CORRECTED*

New ultrasound appointment set for Friday, September 1st, at 10:00. I'll be there if we have to leave at 5 am to do it!

Still Yellow

2006-08-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

Listening to: Yellow by Coldplay (needs that cool Xanga feature)

Ok, here it is. No Wendy, nothing is wrong with the baby. We are both fine.

I just didn't get to do the ultrasound. Sigh.

Our appointment was at 3:00. I was supposed to pick Brad up at 2:00 to head to Nashville. I forgot the paper I needed and had to run back to the house and didn't get to Murfreesboro until 2:30.

We headed to Nashville. And not just ANY part of Nashville. DOWNTOWN Nashville! My doctor delivers at Summit, has offices in Hermitage and Lebanon, and they do routine ultrasounds at the Hermitage office. But for the 20 week ultrasound they send you to a special diagnostic imaging place at Baptist Hospital. In DOWNTOWN Nashville!

We knew we were going to be late anyway but I thought, well, we'll just try to be there as soon as we can and maybe they'll take me anyway.

TRAFFIC! BAD time to be headed for downtown anyway. WHY did I not think of this when I made the appointment??? I was just thinking of how Brad could work most of a day before coming with me. NEXT time the appointment will be in the morning and Brad can just go to work afterwards.

So after fanangling around traffic for forever, we finally made it to 40, only to have to sit in traffic because a BIG truck had dumped it's load of sheet glass ALL OVER the interstate and they had to get it all cleaned up. I couldn't believe how much glass had been dropped when we drove by it. They were using a snowblower thing to get it off the road, and they had a BIG truck full of broken glass. Someone is going to be really mad at the truck driver dude.

So we FINALLY get off at our exit, only to wander around the same 4 blocks for an hour trying to find the place because both of us were reading the map thingy they gave us wrong. We pulled into the parking garage at 4:30. 4:30!!!!!!! By this time I was bawling. Traffic was stressful, trying to get unlost was stressful, and then we were so late... we decided to go in anyway just to see. Maybe when they saw my puffy red eyes and heard my story they would have pity on me and take me anyway.

The lights were out in the office. There was a lady finishing up something in there, and she was so sweet but she said that everyone had left at 4, and that she wished I would have called them. I COULDN'T because I was stuck in traffic and I don't have a cell phone! (We were going to get cell phones anyway when it got closer to baby time so we can get ahold of each other when it's "time" but this is going to speed up the process!)!! But it sounded like they might have waited for me had they known the situation. :-(

So. Back to the elevator. More bawling in the elevator. People trying to ignore the bawling pregnant woman in the elevator.

We were going to call our parents afterwards, so we stopped at an Exxon. Big fancy gas station and NO PAY PHONE! More bawling. HOW am I supposed to talk to people when I'm bawling, anyway???

We were going to head to church but there was no way. Traffic was at a standstill. The only thing that was moving was 65 South. So we went to Cool Springs. I was starving because I had been told to not eat anything for 6-8 hrs before the ultrasound, so Brad took me to Backyard Burgers (our favorite burger joint). I was in need of some serious babying. So we went to Lifeway and read for a while, and got the new old Matthew West cd. Then Brad took me to Marble Slab Creamery where I got Cheesecake ice cream with blueberries in a waffle cone.

After all of this I felt better. Brad was great. And I got to thinking, hey, things could be worse. I still have a baby. We're ok. And for once this wasn't my fault. Even if I hadn't been that half an hour late getting to Murfreesboro, we still would have been too late.

So, with my sweet hubby next to me, and the baby moving around in there, we went home.

On 840. It took us an hour. But hey! There wasn't any traffic!!!

Sweet.

Blue or... pink?

2006-08-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

Today is the big day! I'm going to pick Brad up from Murfreesboro at 2, then we're going into Nashville for our ultrasound appointment at 3! I'm so excited. I HOPE I don't have a modest child because I REALLY want to know if it's going to be a girl or a boy. Oh, and get this! I can bring in a blank VHS tape and they will tape the whole thing for me! How cool is that???? Anyone have any recommendations on how to get it from VHS to DVD to a quicktime file? I NEED to be able to share this!

Can anyone tell how EXCITED I am due to the amount of CAPS used in this POST???

Pride and Vanity vs. Honour and Humility

2006-08-12T13:49:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share with y'all what I found in answer to Becky's request.

I Peter 3:3-4

God doesn't want us to adorn our bodies with jewelry and make up. He wants it to be our inner spirit that makes us beautiful. (Another scripture I remembered since then confirms this: Psalms 149:4)

I Corinthians 13:4-5

If we have God's love in our hearts, we won't seek to lift ourselves up in any way: whether it be our appearance, our accomplishments, or anything else.

Proverbs 18:12

This one speaks for itself. Lift yourself up, and you'll be destroyed. Be humble, and you'll be honored.

Luke 14:8-11

See above.

Isaiah 3:16-24

Thanks to Wendy for bringing this one to my recollection! It sounds like basically the daughters of Israel were being prissy and worshipping their own looks, lavishing attention and adornments on their bodies. It's plain to see what the Lord thought of that.

Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity

2006-08-11T06:50:00.000-05:00

Ok guys, I need some help. Becky asked me to find some scriptures on vanity to share with her 10-year old cousin who spends 45 min. standing in front of a mirror just admiring herself or brushing her hair. I want to share some clear scriptures that the 10 year old will understand. There is a LOT about pride but I'm trying to make this as simple as I can. I've found a couple that I think will work but I thought I'd ask for y'all's input and see what y'all can come up with!

Thanks!

(Hopefully we'll get some feedback, Becky!)

My Siblings

2006-08-11T05:59:00.000-05:00

My Sister

My wonderful Lil' Sis, Bekah Anne. She is growing up WAY too fast! She gets more gorgeous every day. She's not just my Lil' Sis, she's a good friend. I can talk to her about anything. It's so nice to come home and have a girl comrade. We stick together. With 5 brothers, we have to!

My Brothers

All FIVE of my brothers. From left to right: Matthew (14), Micah (17), Josh (19), Jon (21), and Isaiah "Buddy" is in the front, he's 9. They're a good bunch and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything.

All of us have our quirks and can be boogers, but we love each other. It's so nice having a big family. :-)

Program woes.

2006-08-11T05:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I was going to post all kinds of pictures from my trip but I can't open my regular Olympus photo editing program because it makes me type in the serial number every time I open it for some strange reason, and I can't find the disc that has the serial number written on it because Brad cleaned this room while I was gone. Ha ha! AND I can't figure out how on earth to resize a picture in iPhoto.

Well, I may just try to post them anyway. I know that blogger constrains? restrains? them so just beware when you click.

Brad's New Job! Yayness!

2006-08-11T05:44:00.000-05:00

(this picture has absolutely nothing to do with Brad's job, it's just one of my faves of my hubby)

Ha ha, I'm actually blogging in the morning before Megan did! Ha ha! She's probably even still asleep as I type this at 5:22 am! *evil laugh* Hey, it will probably never happen again, so I can gloat a bit this time, can't I?

I am up very early and surprisingly I am not still sleepy, even though I tossed and turned all night.

Brad had to be up early to head out to his new job. Yes, I'm blogging about Brad's job now, though I was kinda pushed into it by a certain someone, though I was planning to anyway. Just haven't been very bloggy lately. So watch out, I think I'm gonna make up for it today!

Ok, his new job. We are SOOOOO excited!!!!! Danny got Brad a job working with him as an electrician apprentice/helper type person. This is SUCH an answer to prayer! Brad especially has worried about our finances with the new baby coming and all. This job is MUCH better than the old one!

Plus, this is starting him in a career that will serve him well for the rest of his life. He can go to school 2 nights a week and in 3 years he can have his license. In the future he could even have his own business. My brother Matthew wants to be a carpenter and he was talking about how they could have a house building business together. How cool would that be?

Even if the old job could pay him more money, where would he be in 5 years? Still stuck in the same dead end job. So this is actually something that he can grow with over time and is really good in the meantime. Thank you Jesus for putting this in our path because we sure didn't go out looking for it!

He is REALLY enjoying it so far! This is something that really interests him too. He's actually able to use his smarts. He loves to read about how stuff works. He has been coming home every night and studying about how ballasts work in fluorescent lighting. Coolness! Speaking of coolness, did I mention that he has been working at a hospital in AIR CONDITIONING??? Yay!

He is staying on at Menlo part time for the time being. He works 6:30 -3 at the new job (which until today has been in Murfreesboro), then drives to Smyrna and works at Menlo from 3:30-6:45. It makes for a long day for him, but he has done well so far. He figures that there's no way he's going to do something like this after the baby is born, we are going to need him at home with us in the evenings, so he might as well give it a shot now while he can. If it gets too much for him he'll quit, because it's not worth killing himself over. But I'm so proud of him for going out of the familiar comfort zone and doing something new for the sake of our family. He's such a good man and I'm so thankful for him! Sigh. :-)

He is working in Bellevue today so THAT is why we are up early. He left about ten after 5, so that gives him a good hour and twenty minutes to get there. Mapquest said it would take 50 min. so he just allowed extra time. Danny won't be there with him today, and Danny is really good about showing him stuff whereas the other dudes just kind of order him around, but he'll be ok. So pray that all goes well for my hubby today!

My Wonderful Husband

2006-08-08T07:58:00.000-05:00

Go read his latest blog entry from when I was in Arkansas and you'll get a glimpse of why I love him so...

Back in Tennessee

2006-08-07T17:20:00.000-05:00

I'm back in TN now. Brad drove all night Friday and got to my family's house around 7:30 am Saturday. We stayed Saturday night and left Sunday around 1 pm-ish after we met Josh & Heather in town for Chinese.

I had such a nice time in Arkansas. It ended WAY too soon. I really wanted to stay until Josh had to leave but Brad and I just couldn't be apart any longer. I felt like a wimp because Josh & Heather have been apart so long, and us only 3 weeks... But they both seemed to understand. Josh said, well, Heather and I aren't apart by choice... he was so sweet. Brad and I were just missing each other, and there is SO MUCH going on in our lives right now, that we really need the support of each other. I love my mom and dad and brothers and sisters but my heart's home is with Brad and I hope that each of my siblings find the person that God intends for them to be with in a love like Brad & I's so that they will understand some day. I think they understood as much as they could though. But it was so hard to leave.

I will post all kinds of pictures tomorrow, and there is SO MUCH blogging to catch up on, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm back home.

Our Soldier is On His Way!

2006-07-28T13:04:00.000-05:00

It's a good day today! Josh comes home today! We're not sure exactly when he's supposed to get in, but it could be around 1:30 or so. He should get into Dallas around 12:00 but he just has an open ticket so I think it's just working that he has to wait until they can get him a seat on a plane. He's been calling Heather along the way, and we'll know when he gets into Dallas. So far on his trip home, he has been in Kuwait, Hungary, New Foundland, Ireland, and Canada! How awesome is that???

Bekah drew his banner this morning, she is so artistic. We all signed it and now we just have to put it on the dowelrods for the ends so we can hold it up. Matthew and Bekah used glass chalk to write on the van... I made yellow ribbon pins with U.S. flag stickers for us to wear at the airport. It's going to be so awesome. I can't wait to see him! I'll be sure to post a ton of pictures. Y'all pray that he makes the rest of his trip home safely.

Hurry home Josh! We all miss you and love you and we're SO PROUD of you!!

Some Photos From Today!

2006-07-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

Me and my 12 year old Lil' Sis Bekah.

She gets more gorgeous every day!

I'm about to lock her in her room until she's at least 35...

My studly 14 year old brother Matthew. He's such a cutie.

He's waiting on Jesus to bring him a girl at the right time,

so hold your horses, ladies.

I love this picture of Bekah and Miss Kitka.

Such a pretty expression on her face.

Bekah's, not the cat's!

Miss Kitka is a cute kitty but she's too tempermentally unstable for me.

Pregnant me, in my favorite dress, at 17 weeks and 2 days.

My first tummy photo!

I promise I get bigger every day.

I've gotten so much bigger since I've been here!

What do you think Brad?

Sunday!

2006-07-25T10:57:00.000-05:00

I got to visit the Mountain View folks Sunday! It's a two hour and ten minute drive and there was no way we were getting everyone out the door at 7:30 so we just went for the morning service. Mama, Matthew, Bekah, and Isaiah went with me. Daddy had to stay home and get some stuff done at the house or else he would have gone with us. Dad always got along really well with Bro. Cartwright (for those who don't know him, his name is really Ben Cartwright! We'd always call their place the Ponderosa).

Anyhow, it was so good to see everyone again! All the kids have grown SO MUCH it's just not right. It makes me feel old. ha ha! Mountain View is where it all began for me and it's so funny to think of all that has happened since then. Brad and I got married in that church and now we're expecting a baby. Bro. Jernigan asked me if I've been eating too many bananas. What on earth is that supposed to mean? I told him it's more like watermelons! :-)

Everyone was so sweet to us. All of those people were so good to us when we were members there, they were like family. Wish we had kept in touch more between now and then. :-( The Jernigans have been transferred to Trumann, so I'm glad I got to see them before they moved! Ashton is getting so big! What a handful she is. :-)

We went out to eat afterwards with the Cartwrights at the Pizza Inn, where Brad & I had our rehearsal dinner. ha ha! We had such a good time visiting with them. And then the boogers paid for all of us... I should have known better with those two but I was not expecting it. They are the most giving people I know and they've been basically our spiritual grandparents. I miss them. I miss all the people at Mountain View so it was SO NICE to be back in church with everyone again. :-)