Been talking with a good friend about this lately (you know who you are). And now I'm getting (more) experience with this subject.
I forgive very easily. I give people chance after chance after chance, benefit of a doubt after benefit of a doubt. But each time my trust is betrayed, I tend to shut off part of my feelings. The hurt is still there, so I just try to distance myself from it in order to carry on.
It's like, if I DON'T put up that emotional barricade, I won't be able to stop the flood and the hurt will wash me away...
I know that the Lord can help me. My human capabilities are sorely lacking in this area. But really, can you blame me? That key to my heart that I gave Jesus at the Ladies' Retreat in West Virginia... I came away from there different. I really did. Have I taken that key back? Or is it more that I've let someone else steal the key. Maybe there's just junk being shoved underneath my heart's door.
Oh, to have a sea of forgetfulness.
I'll get through this. I've gotta hold on to Jesus. At times like these, I realize that He's all I've got.
This song is me all the way.
All Right Here - Sara Groves
It's every loss and every love
It's every blessing from above
Here I am all added up
Oh, it's all right here
It's what I know and what I'm guessin'
It's half-truths and full confessions
It's why I choose to learn my lesson
Oh it's all right here
And I'm not God, I'm a girl; I confess
That I don't have sea of forgetfulness
No, it's all right here
It makes me stronger and makes me wince
It makes me think twice when I pick my friends
Oh, it's all right here it's all right here
It's caution and curiosity
And it's all the things I never see
Welling up inside of me
Oh, it's all right here
It's what is best and what is worse
It's how I see the universe
It's in every line and every verse
Oh, it's all right here
And I'm not God, I'm a girl; I confess
That I don't have sea of forgetfulness
No, it's all right here
It makes me stronger and makes me wince
It makes me think twice when I pick my friends
Oh, it's all right here it's all right here
Every heart has so much history
It's my favorite place to start
Sit down awhile and share your narrative with me
I'm not afraid of who you are
I'm all here and you're all there
Some of this is unique and some of it we share
Let's add it up and start from there
Oh, it's all right here
Oh, I'm not God, I'm a girl; I confess
That I don't have sea of forgetfulness
No, it's all right here
It makes me stronger and makes me wince
It makes me think twice when I pick my friends
Oh, it's all right here
It's caution and curiosity
And it's all the things I never see
Oh, it's all right here
It's what is best and what is worse
And it's how I see the universe
Oh, it's all right here
It's all right here
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